Intimacy: Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game... - FML

By Rosie - 13/06/2012 16:07 - Germany - Wesel

Spicy

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 384

You deserved it 5 246

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Same thing different taste

By StiffPvtParts - 04/06/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 240

You deserved it 301

Talk to me baby

By fizzie101 - 18/10/2014 21:43 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 505

You deserved it 4 696

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 499

You deserved it 11 071

By Taylor - 21/04/2014 04:04 - United States - Dubuque

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 353

You deserved it 8 189

By doesnttastegood - 01/02/2010 10:23 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 648

You deserved it 13 969

By kylie - 10/08/2010 07:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 444

You deserved it 9 353

By urgg - 05/09/2010 14:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 915

You deserved it 5 025

By coldwetnose - 09/05/2011 06:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 226

You deserved it 18 912

By ps3isbetterthanme - 11/12/2009 16:44 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 927

You deserved it 4 329

Man City

By EpicBunBun - 10/05/2017 18:00

Spicy

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, I thought he went to change the music on his phone. He'd actually stopped mid-action just to check sports scores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 269

You deserved it 719

Next

Top comments

ADuckOnQuack_fml 0

Wednesday 13 June 2012 22:10

That is... ******* awesome.

tpuff 7

Wednesday 13 June 2012 22:09

Boss status

Comments

Siena5687 4

Sunday 22 July 2012 8:23

Was he playing the penis game???

DinosaursAreCute 0

Thursday 9 August 2012 1:15

Oh my god I would die laughing XD

LifelessStars 22

Sunday 12 August 2012 6:27

was the game temple run??

xmaan667 15

Saturday 26 October 2013 2:41

After reading this FML, I went through FML with my dick. I understand why your bf did this now.

lovethebeach 2

Friday 29 November 2013 14:48

If you didn't want him using his penis to play a game on your phone you should have offered him something else to use it on. Personally, I think it's hilarious.

Eswizz 8

Thursday 1 May 2014 3:27

Am I the only one who really wants to know what game he was playing?

ryanator008 23

Thursday 3 July 2014 6:10

That is terrible! Android is so much better!

Laggaprone 12

Friday 7 August 2015 5:30

Fappy Bird?

J15237 25

Wednesday 3 February 2021 2:26

At that point you should have been impressed with your mans size and push of his ****. Then grabbed it and ******. Not seeing this as an fml moment

Keywords

Love Party Awkward Lonely ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Health Covid Kids Annoying Shopping Cute Coworkers Animals Dogs Photography Art Videos Exhausted Intimacy Sex Money

The Top

Today, my daughter got home from her first date, angry at me because I scared her date so much that he left halfway through. I swear I didn’t do anything except shake his hand and remind him her curfew is 10pm. Am I in the wrong here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 109

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 827

You deserved it 55 001

The Top

Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 681

You deserved it 52 384

Today, I thought something was wrong with my car battery because my dashboard lights were really low. I paid $77 to find out the dimmer switch was turned down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 859

Today, being jobless and all, I tried calling my dad for a job after my many years of pride. He invited me to an interview to compete against 10 people, probably more qualified than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 067

You deserved it 7 221

Today, my fiancé turned 21. I stayed up and took care of him for 3 hours while he puked his guts out. When I FINALLY get him to bed, he jumps up and rips the lid off a plastic container on the floor and pukes in it. It was full of all my yearbooks, baby pictures, and childhood memories. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153 671

You deserved it 14 383

Today, I walked in on my roommate mid-wank because I didn’t knock before opening the door. Why was he in my room and using my computer? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 378

You deserved it 166

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 116

You deserved it 39 911