Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I...

By Anonymous - 28/10/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 637

You deserved it 3 139

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Same thing different taste

By Zack - 01/04/2012 21:36 - United States - Duncannon

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 749

You deserved it 26 524

By IceMage - 18/01/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 649

You deserved it 39 429

By bTOhno - 13/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 063

You deserved it 4 732

Peaky Bladders

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 463

You deserved it 456

By nerdygirl101 - 13/03/2010 05:27 - United States

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 709

You deserved it 4 319

Caught

By Anonymous - 25/10/2015 02:47 - United States - Apollo

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 619

You deserved it 7 925

By Anonymous - 20/12/2014 14:41 - Australia - Edgecliff

Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 097

You deserved it 2 900

By Anonymous - 17/04/2012 20:53 - United States - International Falls

Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 391

You deserved it 2 046

Scaredy cat

By amazinghermit - 25/11/2014 04:21 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 196

You deserved it 6 581

By killmenow - 23/04/2014 14:54 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 835

You deserved it 14 410

dontlookman 20

Thursday 29 October 2015 0:15

At least you got out instead of wasting time setting up cameras waiting for proof your house is haunted

Welshite 39

Thursday 29 October 2015 0:13

Chucky is waiting. Or one of those blasted Furbies. I swear they only exist to suck the souls out of the living.

Comments

llexibearr 17

Thursday 29 October 2015 2:43

you would survive a horror movie.

vikky538 28

Thursday 29 October 2015 3:16

Now you know its halloween time!!!

jellybean888 10

Thursday 29 October 2015 3:16

smart man

Cnscott0205 15

Thursday 29 October 2015 3:34

Plot twist. It was your girlfriend.

HollyQuinn 21

Thursday 29 October 2015 3:40

I'd probably do the same thing. If I wasn't single.

bgbailey 7

Thursday 29 October 2015 4:06

Damn son you don't have a gun? Open fire

firetornado 9

Thursday 29 October 2015 4:16

plot twist: OP's gf actually secretly came to his house to screw with him, and they just swapped houses

SecundusSecunda 27

Thursday 29 October 2015 4:20

OP, if I could, I would award you with the smart survivor badge. Congratulations on avoiding an agonizing death! You would probably never die in a scary movie