Kids: Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena,...

By SadDad - 06/03/2009 01:51 - United States

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 318

You deserved it 4 358

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Bailey - 22/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 760

You deserved it 14 094

Helpful

By Big bootay - 28/01/2019 16:00

Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 225

You deserved it 360

FUPA kings

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 18:00

Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 146

Chub rub

By Anonymous - 19/03/2021 13:59 - United States - Malvern

Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 190

Reported

By maximumpower - 15/03/2009 01:46 - United States

Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 155

You deserved it 3 524

By DrewK - 14/05/2013 20:09 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 888

You deserved it 4 526

Kids talk

By SerenityJ - 27/09/2013 20:00 - United States - Mountain View

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 037

You deserved it 7 151

Not now, Sweetie

By Redbeard - 24/01/2020 05:00

Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 190

You deserved it 369

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 585

You deserved it 4 373

Toxic much?

By tlm84 - 28/07/2014 02:54 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 650

You deserved it 5 064

My_Little_Pony 0

Friday 6 March 2009 12:05

Some things you just can't make an excuse for.

Arrow_fml 0

Friday 6 March 2009 12:11

It's ok, some people are show-ers and some are growers.

Comments

Jem0_0 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 4:06

I have no idea how I would even have reacted. That had to have been the most mortifying experience of your life hahahahaha

Zits 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 19:58

Parenting doesn't come with an 'easy' button.

squeaky_fml 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 1:42

well, you know, there's showers and there's growers.

eeee93757 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 0:41

Epic win for #10

Riceman80 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:08

It's okay, having a small penis doesn't make you less of a... Wait, actually it does make you less of a man... You also may eventually lose the respect of your son, when he realizes the true societal of being... well-hung, to be polite. Don't fear, though, obviously, your mate doesn't consider "Bigger" as being "better". Chin up :)

Cottoncandii 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 17:55

Its okay, ive learned on my own that size is good.. but its more how u use it, big is suttin to be proud of but not if ur big n still bad at sex which is sometimes the case.

mechanicalrain 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 4:35

ha- 15.... i'd go with the ninja one.... epic

voice_of_reason 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 21:00

to King_of_Kings2 and JimBoom - don't you guys have each other's instant messenger or something? About half of your comments on all these threads are to each other.