Miscellaneous: Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush...

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 763

You deserved it 73 908

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Same thing different taste

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 303

You deserved it 5 020

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 10:30 - United States - Wichita

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 919

You deserved it 15 163

Pissed

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 05:01

Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 1 419

Show off

By badluck_jean - 17/01/2015 13:54 - France

Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 760

You deserved it 11 124

By permanently scarred - 25/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 943

You deserved it 260

Show off

By a stupid jackass - 22/06/2012 01:28 - United States - New York

Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 938

You deserved it 37 552

By Ryan746 - 09/06/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 682

You deserved it 47 021

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 682

You deserved it 25 655

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 133

You deserved it 15 186

By Anon - 30/01/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 342

You deserved it 7 441

Wheredidgrungego 12

Sunday 13 March 2011 23:55

Yeah because all any girl wants is a guy who can crush things with his head. Idiot.

samadams42 0

Sunday 13 March 2011 23:56

They should've drawn pussy on your forhead.

Comments

johnnie254 7

Tuesday 15 March 2011 6:14

probably got butt raped in the process

twirlgirl198 4

Tuesday 15 March 2011 7:06

that's is the funniest thing I have ever heard!!!! sorry dude ur life sucks

dansco 24

Tuesday 15 March 2011 7:42

YDI idiot! Bet she is really impressed now! Next time try a glass bottle, much easier to break ;)

ausathlete 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 18:34

You always know it's going to be a facepalm when an FML starts with "Today I tried to impress..."

popeofdope_fml 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 3:59

dont listen to any of these dirt bitches. girls like guys who r dicks. being sweet makes u her bitch

jordylanell 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 4:26

and how old are u? 12?

crazytoaster 2

Thursday 17 March 2011 7:55

What the hell. I can crush cans on my head no problem AND i have an IQ of 137. My record is 7 cans in 1 minute 30 seconds. Just don't EVER under any circumstances use this trick to impress a girl. It doesn't work. Do it because it's ******* awesome.

sublime420 11

Thursday 17 March 2011 22:51

I wake up every thursday with a bloody forehead because of this..:/

bootje 5

Saturday 26 March 2011 16:05

seems like a paradox to me, being smart and crushing stuff with your forehead

SkoalThugz 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 19:23

Punkpoptart1119 20

Friday 18 March 2011 5:04

What happened to impressing people by being yourself? And everyone knows you crush soda cans with your foot..YDI for not thinking your wonderful plan through.

sublime420 11

Wednesday 23 March 2011 0:32

With your foot? Pussy.

scenequeen101 0

Monday 21 March 2011 7:35

haha yes all of us girls want a guy who can crush a can on his head, o and have a drawing of a PENIS on third forehead no less... lol thank u for the laugh!!!!!