Miscellaneous: Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush...

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 762

You deserved it 73 899

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Same thing different taste

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 301

You deserved it 5 015

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 10:30 - United States - Wichita

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 915

You deserved it 15 161

Pissed

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 05:01

Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 1 413

Show off

By badluck_jean - 17/01/2015 13:54 - France

Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 758

You deserved it 11 122

By permanently scarred - 25/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 940

You deserved it 259

Show off

By a stupid jackass - 22/06/2012 01:28 - United States - New York

Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 938

You deserved it 37 548

By Ryan746 - 09/06/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 682

You deserved it 47 020

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 680

You deserved it 25 646

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 132

You deserved it 15 183

By Anon - 30/01/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 340

You deserved it 7 439

Wheredidgrungego 12

Sunday 13 March 2011 23:55

Yeah because all any girl wants is a guy who can crush things with his head. Idiot.

samadams42 0

Sunday 13 March 2011 23:56

They should've drawn pussy on your forhead.

Comments

haleypiejune20 4

Friday 20 January 2012 0:01

Even if you had succeeded it wouldn't have been impressive.

TrippingOnAcid 29

Friday 27 April 2012 19:12

That's not going to impress us even if you succeed :/

polkaDOTfan 4

Friday 19 October 2012 1:31

Girls don't like to be impressed. Try talking to her next time.

Esma_fml 10

Monday 9 September 2013 3:20

It's really sad that you think killing your brain cells will impress her... :/

telli164 30

Sunday 16 February 2014 22:45

Cause girls really like that shit, I can't understand why she didn't hang around..

cjlerch 29

Sunday 23 February 2014 21:01

At least it wasn't traced. Unless..

writerchic85 25

Saturday 18 April 2015 1:00

If she would have been impressed by you crushing a can on your head imagine what kind of conversations you could have with her.

GreekYogurt 26

Saturday 15 August 2015 6:50

If you have to dumb yourself down for someone, they aren't worth it.

duskglow 12

Friday 4 September 2015 0:41

There was no way that could possibly have ended well... YDI after the first sentence.

Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20

Saturday 26 August 2017 22:14

Guess you failed a crush... (This is the worst pun I've ever made, and I shall now continue to dig myself a hole, so that ppl will eventually forget the shame I've braught upon myself with it.)