Miscellaneous: Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush...

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 763

You deserved it 73 908

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Same thing different taste

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 303

You deserved it 5 020

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 10:30 - United States - Wichita

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 919

You deserved it 15 163

Pissed

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 05:01

Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 1 419

Show off

By badluck_jean - 17/01/2015 13:54 - France

Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 760

You deserved it 11 124

By permanently scarred - 25/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 943

You deserved it 260

Show off

By a stupid jackass - 22/06/2012 01:28 - United States - New York

Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 938

You deserved it 37 552

By Ryan746 - 09/06/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 682

You deserved it 47 021

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 682

You deserved it 25 655

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 133

You deserved it 15 186

By Anon - 30/01/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 342

You deserved it 7 441

Wheredidgrungego 12

Sunday 13 March 2011 23:55

Yeah because all any girl wants is a guy who can crush things with his head. Idiot.

samadams42 0

Sunday 13 March 2011 23:56

They should've drawn pussy on your forhead.

Comments

nlr 9

Monday 14 March 2011 0:04

hey! I just moderated this! I'm so proud of my self!

timtamslam 19

Monday 14 March 2011 0:24

same! :D

nlr 9

Monday 14 March 2011 0:31

really? my sister read this earlier saying her boyfriend wouldve done the same thing! I laughed so hard!

KVKdragon 26

Monday 14 March 2011 0:05

neanderthal award for the day goes to you OP. YTDI.

pickles1994 18

Monday 14 March 2011 9:09

win

disney_blonde 16

Monday 14 March 2011 0:05

No normal girl is impressed by that. I figured guys did that to show off to other guys.

tbj42409 0

Monday 14 March 2011 0:05

are you stupid?

Avenged7Gabe 0

Monday 14 March 2011 0:31

no but you are

prinzess_fml 25

Monday 14 March 2011 1:01

Hey, Avenged = OP by any chance?

dudeitsdanny 9

Monday 14 March 2011 1:12

Nah, he's just a retarded troll. Or just a retard.

db_rainblow 0

Monday 14 March 2011 3:40

do you really need to ask?

Pretty_Pink_Lady 10

Monday 14 March 2011 4:32

or just a troll.

sweet_candy_ 17

Monday 14 March 2011 0:07

That is not impressive. You fail op.

young_al 4

Monday 14 March 2011 3:59

Maybe OP likes girls that can crush cans with their head!:p YDI

sweet_candy_ 17

Monday 14 March 2011 7:24

I wonder where he will find a girl that does that.

aardvarkish 16

Monday 14 March 2011 10:46

My first guess is Texas. (joke. I'm from there)

valri3 0

Monday 14 March 2011 0:07

StO0piD

hey_its_kristi 0

Monday 14 March 2011 0:07

This is the funniest I have read in a while. I wish I had been there to see it!

ViperSeven 0

Monday 14 March 2011 0:08

This was my FML! Someone else changed it and submitted it!

chillamastr92 0

Monday 14 March 2011 0:15

YDI.

ViperSeven 0

Monday 14 March 2011 0:09

This was my FML! Someone changed it ajd submitted it as their own!

KUSHaholic 0

Monday 14 March 2011 0:12

Fuckk ur life too

KUSHaholic 0

Monday 14 March 2011 0:10

aha ... ahahaa ....... ahahahahahahaa

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Facebook Love Social Media Am I overreacting? AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Technology Education Relatable Students Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I have an HR meeting to discuss my team's performance. This is the same HR that refuses to hire more people because my department is full. The same HR that complains when tasks are completed late due to the team being overworked, yet refuses to take any suggestions. How do you give feedback to people like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 75

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 714

The Top

Today, I found out the guy I was talking and mutually flirty with is married. I was under the impression that he was divorced, up until when he told me that he's married and assumed that I knew. He says he's in a loveless marriage because his wife cheated and they're staying together for their little kid. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 158

Today, I went to my high school reunion, hoping to dazzle my old classmates with my career in investigative journalism. Instead, I ended up getting drunk and falling asleep in the bathroom stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 1 203

Today, after a few of my friends decided to drink last night, and my best friend ended up getting very drunk and confessing to my boyfriend that she loves him, her brother came over and gave me a lecture about responsibilities. I don't know what's worse, the lecture or the fact that her brother is my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 162

Today, I got a great job offer but things are constantly changing at my current position due to COVID. So I was honest and told them I wanted to see what my employer could offer. They took back their offer and gave it to someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 1 740

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 508

You deserved it 7 049

Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 777

You deserved it 12 804

Same thing different taste

Pissed

Show off

Show off

Romantic move

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