Miscellaneous: Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush...

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 763

You deserved it 73 908

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Same thing different taste

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 303

You deserved it 5 020

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 10:30 - United States - Wichita

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 919

You deserved it 15 163

Pissed

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 05:01

Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 1 419

Show off

By badluck_jean - 17/01/2015 13:54 - France

Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 760

You deserved it 11 124

By permanently scarred - 25/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 943

You deserved it 260

Show off

By a stupid jackass - 22/06/2012 01:28 - United States - New York

Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 938

You deserved it 37 552

By Ryan746 - 09/06/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 682

You deserved it 47 021

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 682

You deserved it 25 655

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 133

You deserved it 15 186

By Anon - 30/01/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 342

You deserved it 7 441

Wheredidgrungego 12

Sunday 13 March 2011 23:55

Yeah because all any girl wants is a guy who can crush things with his head. Idiot.

samadams42 0

Sunday 13 March 2011 23:56

They should've drawn pussy on your forhead.

Comments

likeyourelooking 6

Monday 14 March 2011 2:08

ydi for liking a girl that might get impressed by something like that.

likeyourelooking 6

Monday 14 March 2011 13:10

Hahahaha ok I lied. it's the hottest thing ever.

MAXCAT1220 0

Monday 14 March 2011 2:12

lol idiot

silvic84 0

Monday 14 March 2011 2:22

you life suck bc you think that doing that you will impress somebody

ImmortalKratos 0

Monday 14 March 2011 2:24

try licking to the center of a tootsie pop in under 10 secs. that'll impress her ;).

PushBarToOpen 5

Monday 14 March 2011 2:25

If he'd managed to do it I'd be impressed! And no I'm not some dumb redneck. Be a good way of getting my attention, and better than "Nice legs, what time do they open" or any other equally ridiculous chat up line!! Get a sense of humour!!