Miscellaneous: Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush...

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 761

You deserved it 73 899

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Same thing different taste

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 301

You deserved it 5 015

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 10:30 - United States - Wichita

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 915

You deserved it 15 160

Pissed

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 05:01

Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 1 412

Show off

By badluck_jean - 17/01/2015 13:54 - France

Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 758

You deserved it 11 122

By permanently scarred - 25/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 940

You deserved it 259

Show off

By a stupid jackass - 22/06/2012 01:28 - United States - New York

Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 938

You deserved it 37 548

By Ryan746 - 09/06/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 682

You deserved it 47 020

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 680

You deserved it 25 646

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 132

You deserved it 15 183

By Anon - 30/01/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 340

You deserved it 7 439

Wheredidgrungego 12

Sunday 13 March 2011 23:55

Yeah because all any girl wants is a guy who can crush things with his head. Idiot.

samadams42 0

Sunday 13 March 2011 23:56

They should've drawn pussy on your forhead.

Comments

pink_raindrops 26

Monday 14 March 2011 1:13

I'm not even sure how doing something so stupid as crushing a can on your head became known as "manly". It's one of the most retarded things someone can do, its on the level of letting someone hit you as hard as possible because "you're a man and can take pain". Worst logic EVER. Maybe if you showed her you were a smart, kind person you'd have a shot...but showing her you are a complete moron like that will only get you another date with your left hand.

Muffin_Tops_fml 2

Monday 14 March 2011 1:18

this reminds me of that pepsi commercial with those guys who had crushed the pepsi can with their heads.

jt_ski17 0

Monday 14 March 2011 1:21

Hey that's how I always impress people... its an art

FlonkertonChamp 6

Monday 14 March 2011 1:23

yyyyyeah... that's not a way to impress anyone. men are idiots.

clashatdemonhead 3

Monday 14 March 2011 9:23

not all men are as stupid as the OP

sublime420 11

Monday 14 March 2011 1:24

I actually did that at a frat party once. Now everytime i go back people ask me to do it again. It got to the point that my friend filmed it and told me to just show them the video nect time, because i was always waking up with a bloody forehead...

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Monday 14 March 2011 1:33

In what way is the ability to crush a soda can against your forehead impressive? If I saw a guy do this I would just think he was a complete moron, or perhaps drunk. Next time you want to impress a girl just try talking to her and getting to know her. Intelligent conversation trumps neanderthal style behavior every time.