Miscellaneous: Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling... - FML

By nosleep - 05/02/2011 00:05 - Australia

Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 248

You deserved it 6 977

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Same thing different taste

By randomguy - 09/07/2012 15:09 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 981

You deserved it 12 167

By Secretlypossessed - 29/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 976

You deserved it 296

Ouch!

By P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 985

You deserved it 5 275

Wake up call

By das_shizzle - 05/05/2020 23:00

Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 343

You deserved it 275

By happybidet - 31/10/2016 13:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 725

You deserved it 882

By SoVeryMonday - 30/11/2009 18:01 - Canada

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 162

You deserved it 9 528

By anonymous - 27/02/2010 16:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 578

You deserved it 3 113

By Ugh - 15/02/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husbands rather rattling snoring, I finally managed it... only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 822

You deserved it 3 866

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 135

By bruised - 11/04/2016 07:26 - United States - Novi

Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 807

You deserved it 3 050

Next

Top comments

Ben360 6

Saturday 5 February 2011 7:43

Today in the middle of the night....

DigitalKnight 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 7:44

You interrupted his conversation with the devil.

Comments

Asario 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 8:01

100 bucks says he wasnt really asleep. he just wanted to punch ops bitch face. no offense or anything of course

MrBond007_fml 6

Saturday 5 February 2011 8:05

we have all been there.... hahaha

perdix 29

Saturday 5 February 2011 8:15

Don't interrupt someone when they are taken by the Holy Spirit and are speaking in tongues. YDI for being an agent of Satan.

tans_fml 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 8:22

so punch him back.

Faleni 4

Saturday 5 February 2011 12:37

yup!

RosiePatosie 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 8:27

.. ouch?

Mofozofo 3

Saturday 5 February 2011 8:28

Atleast he didn't punch you rectangle in the face.

lnobles1208 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 9:12

haha

Silent_dream 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 8:32

never wake up a sleepwalker/talker. I slepwalked once and my dad tried waking me up. I accidentally kneed him square in the balls thinking, like in my dream, someone was robbing me

cartooncharacter 9

Tuesday 3 July 2012 7:10

Square in the balls.... Here we go again.... How in the world are your father's balls square? Balls not =to square!!!!

Silent_dream 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 8:34

p.s. I was making fun of op by saying square in the balls. just so u know :T

riggens7522 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 8:57

damn u beat me to it.

translat0r 2

Saturday 5 February 2011 9:26

never interrupt a man in the throes of gibberish

SparcMac 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 10:11

exorcism time

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

Today, for the fifth day in a row, I have awoken at 6 a.m. to the sounds of my roommate's guest's child screaming. If it's anything like the last four days, the child will continue to randomly screech every fifteen minutes or so for the next five hours. I work 13-hour night shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 033

You deserved it 2 760

Today, I made a heart-shaped pancake for my girlfriend as a surprise Valentine's Day breakfast. I flipped it too hard, and it landed on my cat. The cat then ran around the house with a pancake cape, and the surprise was ruined by the cat bolting into the bedroom, waking my girlfriend up, who's not a morning person at the best of times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, after graduating from the same program, I was offered several jobs, while my boyfriend wasn’t. He couldn’t be happy for me, saying, "She got in with the right people, and they just keep handing her jobs," and dismissing my work ethic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 167

Today, I was yelled at in public for staring at a guy in a wheelchair. I was staring because he was so good looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 290

You deserved it 4 717

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 545

You deserved it 21 360

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 464

You deserved it 9 359

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 215

You deserved it 7 320

Today, I was reported for mortgage fraud. The reason? A distant cousin wanted to congratulate me on my new home, but she was upset that I didn’t go through the lender she works for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 109