Miscellaneous: Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes...

By ilivealoneandwhatthefuck - 23/06/2013 17:02 - Guam - Yigo

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 293

You deserved it 4 336

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Same thing different taste

By dickhead - 10/04/2015 22:17 - United States

Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 171

You deserved it 3 395

By rattrap - 06/02/2012 01:13 - United States

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time that my cats hadn't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 058

You deserved it 2 602

By Anonymous - 24/06/2011 21:22 - United States

Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 228

You deserved it 7 103

By Pimp-Daddy - 21/07/2009 14:55 - Canada

Today, I set up a camera in my kitchen to see who was stealing my cookies. Turns out my mom had her boyfriend over. Good news, the cookies are safe. Bad news, I now have something recorded that I never wanted to see in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 491

You deserved it 14 152

By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 13:00

Today, after house sitting for my neighbor, I realized that he has a camera pointed at my pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 197

You deserved it 285

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 964

You deserved it 3 203

By Anonymous - 21/12/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 227

You deserved it 5 860

Isn't that illegal?

By Ryan Engle - 29/07/2021 02:01

Today, my neighbor, who has 4 video cameras pointed at the front of my house, got a drone that’s now hovering over my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 77

Pesky kids

By Kyle - 03/12/2013 06:09 - United States - Seattle

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they couldn't get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 329

You deserved it 6 962

Ratatouille

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 08:02

Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 172

Pleonasm 35

Sunday 23 June 2013 23:35

It has begun. Hide yo wife, hide yo kids; no-body is safe.

cupcakechick 17

Sunday 23 June 2013 23:34

call the cops

Comments

slimkelsey 17

Monday 24 June 2013 5:06

Well at least your ghost has a sense of humor! Gnome-thing scary about that!

Colorguardlife_t 14

Monday 24 June 2013 5:12

Time to move!

EvieM97 8

Monday 24 June 2013 5:19

When did people start calling other people asshats?

DorkAlert 10

Monday 24 June 2013 5:23

Umm do you live with someone? If so, its probably them

BrookRae 19

Tuesday 25 June 2013 1:56

You must not have read their username.

RyoKioKio 21

Monday 24 June 2013 5:30

It has begun... The Sims 3 is starting to bleed into reality.

Xotoolyxo 16

Monday 24 June 2013 5:34

I find it hilarious that you're freaking out. Let it go on, and eventually that person will get bored with you not reacting and go away.

wvcheesehead1 9

Monday 24 June 2013 5:41

Call the Winchesters.

eightpack007 7

Monday 24 June 2013 5:43

Change your locks smart guy. Duh

dyehardxen 19

Monday 24 June 2013 5:51

Slenderman is putting gnomes in your house. If you start coughing, or feeling faint. Run.

ohhhsnapple 14

Monday 24 June 2013 5:53

Why hasn't anyone suggested that OP might be sleepwalking?? But really, that would creep me out too.

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The Top

Today, I found out my husband’s former mistress is going to be at Thanksgiving dinner. Why? Because his idiot brother married the tramp AFTER the affair came to light. So now not only is the whore my sister-in-law, she’s being included in every family gathering henceforth. Fuck this family and… FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 179

Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said, "Girls don't wear deodorant." He actually believed that. FML

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You deserved it 3 008

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 12 813

You deserved it 76 274

Today, a coworker grabbed my ass for the third time. I went to my boss to complain about the sexual harassment. He told me to suck it up and enjoy the attention, and that it was my fault for having a huge, round ass. I think it's time for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 992

You deserved it 185

Today, I found out that just because you collapse from dehydration on the sidewalk, it doesn't mean people are going to stop driving to see if you're okay, even if they saw you fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 216

You deserved it 6 919

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I agree, your life sucks 48 312

You deserved it 10 891

Today, I called my husband and he told me that he was going to invite his friend Jeff over that night. I told him I would prefer that he didn't come over. He took it to mean that I wanted to spend time with him and came home with flowers. Then had to tell him I was leaving him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 626

You deserved it 158 131

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 378

You deserved it 4 379