Health: Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised...

By Thepunchline - 11/08/2010 09:19 - United Kingdom

Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 235

You deserved it 4 235

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Same thing different taste

By imobesejk - 17/07/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 202

You deserved it 2 822

Bullseye

By cannabis_this420 - 17/03/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, my mother called me and told me that she went to the hospital. This wasn't a surprise 'cos she normally goes to the hospital for the smallest things. I was a smartass and asked, "What now? You finally have lung cancer from all those cigarettes?" Apparently, she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 022

You deserved it 101 141

NOT NOW!

By AintEasyBeinWheezy - 28/04/2016 18:26 - United States

Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 340

You deserved it 1 050

Mum

By mummer11 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Ireland

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred, "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 415

You deserved it 3 199

By Anonymous - 11/04/2012 03:49 - United States - Moreland

Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 688

You deserved it 2 069

By Anonymous - 07/11/2014 08:03 - Australia

Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 742

You deserved it 3 762

Stressed out

By Emily Ann - 08/06/2021 13:59

Today, I overheard my mom, who quit smoking years ago, saying that I am the only person who stresses her out badly enough to want to smoke a cigarette. I have never once tried to stress her out, and in fact I do everything I can to make her life easier. She works in retail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 125

Crisis control

By Cuntlette - 11/04/2014 16:38 - Australia - Brighton

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 578

You deserved it 3 374

Do as I say, not as I do

By Gracie - 24/05/2019 12:02

Today, I was having a cigarette in a smoking area when a mother with a pram strode towards me and exaggerated a cough to make some sort of point. Reluctantly, I put it out and walked off. I then turned around to see her lighting up a cigarette, and blowing smoke all over her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 030

You deserved it 305

By broken - 02/09/2009 09:45 - Australia

Today, my mum hit me with her car as she was backing out of the driveway, hitting my leg, and crushing my bike. For the third time this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 398

You deserved it 10 238

Freeze_fml 16

Wednesday 11 August 2010 19:04

Tell her a joke about her lungs.

FFML_314 11

Wednesday 11 August 2010 19:06

Bitch slap her back.

Comments

CAbullet_Caitlin 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 20:04

child abuse:O

jhoops 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 20:09

Mr. Belvedere says Hmm.....sounds painful! (Smoke a joint)

artisticninja713 13

Wednesday 11 August 2010 20:12

yeah I kinda liked my dad a bit better when he smoked too...

strikeeagle 3

Wednesday 11 August 2010 20:49

strike and disown!

Flipflops4ever 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 21:03

I'm so tired of seeing mum! I know that's what they say in England but it still sounds weird. Why can't the British speak English the way everybody else does & say mom, mommy or ma! YDI.

QWERTYCommander 5

Wednesday 11 August 2010 21:08

Even though I do agree that mum sounds weird, it's a British word.

CloudEnvy 17

Wednesday 11 August 2010 21:41

I like that. "Why can't the British speak English" Like we're all wandering around shortening words and messing around with the spellings.

TooBored13 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 22:38

Ya man, you guys totally messed up the language when you won your Independence from the King of America. Wait, what? Haha.

YourLittleSpies 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 15:50

'English is a West Germanic language that arose in the Anglo-Saxon kingdoms of England and spread into South-East Scotland under the influence of the Anglian medieval kingdom of Northumbria.' Also, not everyone in England says 'mum', douchebag. Where I'm from, we say 'mam'. You shouldn't be so ignorant as to criticise another's accent/dialect.

5t3ff1k4h 44

Thursday 12 August 2010 18:33

I didn't think anyone past a certain age in any culture would call their mother 'mommy'.

monkeykiller77 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 21:11

that's when you call the cops :)

arabianhorse1234 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 21:15

Your mom is probably a bit irritable right now because she is going through nicotine withdrawal. Just be patient, eventually she'll either get past it or fall off the wagon and start smoking again.

baseball154 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 21:45

haha I laughed sooooo hard when I read this

xxxjj18 2

Wednesday 11 August 2010 21:52

Nah, you're health got worse when you became a bitch. You really let her bitch slap you down some stairs? Just move outta the way lol. Seriously though, you should get that checked out