Work: Today, it was my first day as a vacuum salesman. While I was...

By JB - 07/12/2011 14:29 - United States

Today, it was my first day as a vacuum salesman. While I was demonstrating how well it removed stains, I managed to smear stuff over the area I was cleaning. So not only was I unsuccessful in removing the original stains, I left them with worse carpet than when I got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 013

You deserved it 28 750

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/06/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I gave a carpet shampooing demonstration in a stranger's home. To my surprise, the white expensive carpet was dyed grey due to something in the solution. The owner held me hostage in her house by barracading the door until my manager got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 561

You deserved it 9 091

That sucks

By Anonymous - 29/11/2018 15:30

Today, I bought a new vacuum cleaner after having to go several months without one. Immediately, I wanted to try it out. I must have underestimated how powerful it was, as it sucked up my socks and then broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 484

You deserved it 968

By Anonymous - 24/08/2015 17:32 - United States

Today, I was at my summer babysitting job. The family's dog puked on the carpet and I proceeded to clean it up with baking soda and a mix of water/vinegar. Instead of blending in with the other areas of the carpet, the one spot I cleaned is white while the other areas are still darkened by filth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 695

You deserved it 2 389

Job satisfaction

By Mark - 06/01/2010 02:06 - United States

Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 116

You deserved it 4 312

By Lady - 11/01/2010 00:21 - United States

Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 285

You deserved it 44 352

Drip drip drip

By ewww - 03/04/2009 00:46 - United States

Today, I used the community vacuum to clean my dorm. When spots started appearing on the floor, I assumed it was leaking water. By the time I finished there were tons of wet spots on the floor. Later I found out that someone had just used that very vacuum to suck up vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 262

You deserved it 5 227

By Urinal Fresh - 02/03/2012 10:19 - Australia

Today, I vacuumed my car as I'm trying to sell it. After the interior was clean, I sprayed some air freshener. The chosen smell was "new car". I think they mislabeled it, as my car now smells like urinal cakes. I have two potential buyers coming tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 192

You deserved it 4 374

Dumbass

By notrocketscience - 07/05/2012 15:57 - United States - West Monroe

Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 405

You deserved it 3 767

By carpetoops - 21/06/2009 16:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I spilt purple washing detergent all over my white carpet. Desperate to get it up I grabbed a blue towel and started mopping it up. The detergent hasn't stained the carpet at all, the blue dye from the towel has. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 838

You deserved it 35 557

Kids and their wacky crazes

By tclwj - 06/09/2020 23:01 - Trinidad and Tobago - Port-of-spain

Today, I bought a used SUV that had fairly dirty carpets, that got even more dirty as I drove my two daughters around. I got it professionally cleaned and detailed and it looks brand new, but now my daughters cry and scream as I put them in the clean car, because their favorite stain is not there anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 214

MrSchneebly 5

Wednesday 7 December 2011 19:07

Wow you used their carpet! Jesus bring a tester one or something, don't go trashing peoples homes

WCARlover 34

Wednesday 7 December 2011 19:11

"...and this is how not to use it"

Comments

heartcloud_fml 3

Wednesday 7 December 2011 23:31

Since when do vacuums remove stains?

potatosrock 10

Wednesday 7 December 2011 23:56

VACUUMS DON'T REMOVE STAINS!!!!!!!!

kdog333 1

Wednesday 7 December 2011 23:57

prepare to be sued.

bubo_fml 10

Thursday 8 December 2011 0:23

"I assure you folks, this vacuum cleaner sucks!" (Gotta get the sales pitch 2getha, Bro!)

jaredofmo 22

Thursday 8 December 2011 0:35

I was wondering who'd be first to say that. FTL of the OP because the product he's selling doesn't work. BTW, the mentions of Kirby vacuums, look 'em up on Google if you want some real horror stories.

meben 0

Thursday 8 December 2011 0:44

Time to switch from vacuumes to security systems. So much more money in selling security systems..

PoisonGirlInc 0

Thursday 8 December 2011 0:46

Dude I know how you feel I used to sell Kirbys FYL

KristantheGreat 5

Thursday 8 December 2011 1:23

JB.... Justin Bieber ?!

jaredofmo 22

Thursday 8 December 2011 16:39

JB is not Justin Bieber or the Jonas Brothers. It's John Barrowman!

sodapopper 6

Thursday 8 December 2011 1:36

Those jobs suck JB, don't fall for that or cutco junk jobs bro. Those products are crap and you output way more effort than is worth it with them.... And they kill ur checks with their "fees". Legal scam artists.

meben 0

Thursday 8 December 2011 20:48

Umm excuse me? I made 75k in 4 months selling security systems. It's hard work and takes persistence. I'd love to talk to someone who makes that kind of money in 4 months working 12-dark.

meben 0

Thursday 8 December 2011 20:51

And yes your correct. Cutco/vector marketing, are scams to the customer and employee. Only the big guy up top makes the money. Kirby used to be a great job. However the economy went to the pit and vacuum sales went from like 5 a week to two if your a great sales guy. I have a friend that worked for them. He's now the leading west coast sales manager for temperapedic mattresses.