Work: Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything...

By Anonymous - 25/10/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 037

You deserved it 6 345

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Same thing different taste

By sadlife - 09/07/2009 18:50 - Canada

Today, I opened my lunch in front of my friends at university. I had a note in my lunch from my mother that said "Have a good day sweetie! - Love mom". I wrote that note, and put it in my lunch to impress my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 310

You deserved it 66 524

By PukinFireman - 17/10/2009 08:20 - United States

Today, it was my first day at the fire station. Naturally, we all went out and got lunch together. I normally don't handle spicy food well, but sucked it up. About ten minutes after we finished, I got up to do rookie duties when someone slapped me in the back. I forcefully vomited all over my new Lieutenant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 153

You deserved it 5 109

By PC Jones - 20/09/2011 14:56 - Australia

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 459

You deserved it 3 220

Mommy's boy

By Anonymous - 19/03/2022 22:00

Today, after I've spent years cultivating my reputation at work as a hardass who's good to his team, as long as they're competent and own up to mistakes, my mother came as a customer and suddenly I'm a kid all over again. She even tried to pat my head and ask if I'm eating enough. Now my team all keep smirking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 301

By britney - 15/02/2010 02:54 - Canada

Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 130

You deserved it 5 600

By Anonymous - 27/07/2016 04:09

Today, I spent my first day with my parents for the first time in a year as I've been away at university. My dad went to work, and my mum spent the whole day playing mahjong with her friends as they all told me "how fat I've gotten" and how "boys won't like it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 804

You deserved it 1 323

Dad joke number 287474

By HunkyFez - 28/08/2020 08:06 - Australia

Today, my dad offered to make me lunch as it was my first day at a new school. Today was also the day I had to eat a penis-shaped sandwich in front of my new peers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 762

You deserved it 268

Priorities

By Anonymous - 06/03/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I was sent by my mother and her boyfriend to pick up some take-out. After getting the food, I began to turn out once the traffic light was green. An asshole cop sped past the red light and slammed into my car, totaling it. When I called my house, my mom's boyfriend asked, "Where's our dinner?" I'm fine, by the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 78

By Anonymous - 03/08/2010 06:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I start work in an office, with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 556

You deserved it 12 694

By Lauren Smith - 17/10/2010 16:52 - United States

Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 348

You deserved it 6 183

yadisingh 5

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:13

Eat up, big boy :) Haha, but dude, mom's are moms. Atleast yours actually cares about you haha.

Reign_fml 3

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:12

Aw, how sweet

Comments

godbear 5

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:16

ha!

youcunthole 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 2:16

Gay people ride motorcycles

2ndSucks 15

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:16

Did you get go-gurt in your lunch? If so, it was totally worth it.

mrbendystraw 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 1:14

I love ADTR. For what ever in the world it is worth

HeyImPayton 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 2:41

A day to remember

Nitial 6

Wednesday 26 October 2011 13:31

122 - Psychic! But I already do know ADTR.

every1luvsboners 11

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:16

Little do they know that the brown bag was full of heroin that you were about to shove up your arse and sneak into the jail behind their back. Your mom coming up there was an obvious distraction to make you look like a mamas boy. Well played, Officer Orifice.