Parents and Miscellaneous: Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to...

By Panda_Bearr - 03/09/2011 04:33 - United States

Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to say goodbye, instead he told me, "Hope you've got all your shit. Anything you leave, I'm burning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 698

You deserved it 2 728

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/08/2009 23:29 - Canada

Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 807

You deserved it 3 453

By Anonymous - 21/07/2014 22:14 - United States - Bronx

Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 530

You deserved it 3 627

By Anonymous - 22/03/2014 23:07 - United States - Auberry

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 718

You deserved it 13 272

Communication breakdown

By Austin - 12/02/2011 07:50 - United States

Today, I got a notice in the mail saying I had been fired from my job. My dad's the boss, who I happen to live with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 917

You deserved it 3 796

By Anonymous - 15/10/2011 01:48 - Canada

Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 176

You deserved it 41 138

By Anonymous - 16/04/2012 04:03 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 836

You deserved it 1 974

Nice to know

By rejectedson - 15/10/2009 23:23 - United States

Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 667

You deserved it 2 257

By Anonymous - 02/06/2011 14:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 008

You deserved it 3 075

By hobo - 17/05/2015 17:47 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, I woke up to "we're leaving". I'm now homeless because my Dad and his girlfriend got into an argument over toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 576

You deserved it 2 205

By fird - 25/11/2017 15:00

Today, my boss made sure to do one last thing before he retired. Fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 067

You deserved it 305

mjninety 9

Saturday 3 September 2011 11:57

I bet you are glad to be leaving.

rein 8

Saturday 3 September 2011 12:05

leave behind all your shit & let him burn down his house.

Comments

theonlysweetpea 10

Sunday 4 September 2011 9:39

Remind the asshole you're leaving his house...

sandmancometh 3

Sunday 4 September 2011 10:05

You obviousely wore out your welcome. your dad is still a dick for saying that.

writergirl23 19

Sunday 4 September 2011 10:07

Wow u musta given ur dad one rebellious summer.

honest_scorpio 4

Sunday 4 September 2011 16:03

Don't leave anything important behind

Naeeboo 4

Monday 5 September 2011 2:44

lol, dhats harsh. i woulda said yuh burn mah stuff Imma **** yuh up lol .-. FYL

arab_princess 3

Monday 5 September 2011 7:37

Ouch... That's gotta sting. Sorry kid

oakleylove 3

Wednesday 7 September 2011 2:58

My dad said the same shit to me

kittylovesyouu 4

Friday 9 September 2011 3:37

Yes dad. I love you too.

purebliss7 6

Monday 7 November 2011 6:33

wow your dad sounds charming. you must be proud.

Dallasluver19 14

Saturday 16 June 2012 19:23

...Be happy it's ur last day

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 85

Today, I was finishing a conversation with my husband. His phone rang, but he didn't take it. He said, "No, the guy said he was going to call me at 11:30 and it's 11:36. I'll call him in 3 minutes." It was then I realized that I have been the subject of this type of petty control for over 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 104

The Top

Today, I learned that all the caffeine my body can handle and boundless energy will not stop me from yawning. Thirty times in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 147

Today, I learned to always remember to mute yourself on Zoom when on your break. My apartment is so small, they all heard me take the longest piss of my life, moan and butt scratching included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 982

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 527

You deserved it 41 958

Today, I learned never to try a jump-scare prank on my boyfriend. Apparently, his instinct when suddenly scared isn’t to jump or scream like a baby, it’s to throw a blind punch. Luckily, he missed but he broke my glasses by knocking them off my nose and now he won’t stop apologising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 1 812

Today, at 7am, I was woken up by a telemarketer. He tried to sell me a bedroom set containing "a comfortable pillow and goose feather cover". I was working the graveyard shift and had only just gotten to sleep an hour earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 814

You deserved it 2 857

Today, I decided to declutter my closet and donate old clothes. Proud of my altruism, I packed everything into bags and drove to the donation center. As I handed over the bags, the volunteer looked at me sympathetically and said, "We're not accepting donations right now." So not only did I just Marie Kondo my wardrobe, I also managed to be a one-person traffic jam for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 145

Same thing different taste

Communication breakdown

Nice to know

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