Miscellaneous: Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I...

By Anna L. - 25/03/2013 00:23 - United States - San Antonio

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 176

You deserved it 6 588

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Same thing different taste

By spriggs - 25/07/2010 09:06 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 846

You deserved it 127 658

By Anonymous - 06/03/2014 02:09 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 249

You deserved it 16 851

By anonymous - 20/12/2010 11:23

Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 114

You deserved it 3 268

Sorry, man

By Lii - 24/03/2015 01:04 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 094

You deserved it 15 425

By Jebus - 07/06/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 137

You deserved it 60 996

Halloween has started early

By Anonymous - 22/10/2019 00:01

Today, while walking down the street, I was violently beaten up by a man in a Darth Vader outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 625

You deserved it 165

By ohman - 17/07/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 270

You deserved it 8 190

Freaked out

By CriminalMistake - 04/05/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 668

You deserved it 63 212

Sussy baka

By black hoodie - 19/05/2013 23:07 - United States - Shrewsbury

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 168

You deserved it 5 975

By pinkrazrgirl247 - 03/07/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 437

You deserved it 52 216

Rumbelle_fml 22

Monday 25 March 2013 9:23

That's a clear violation of the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy, and I sincerely hope you reported him to the Ministry.

Gaga_is_God6969 13

Monday 25 March 2013 9:22

LMFAO. I'm sorry....but that's kinda awesome, actually.

Comments

marquellauhrig 10

Tuesday 26 March 2013 1:48

Omg thats amazing!!!

fksfsdhfsdfh 26

Tuesday 26 March 2013 3:29

Was that latin?

Ti_Zwazo 8

Tuesday 26 March 2013 3:43

Oh my. Go read Harry Potter :P "Expecto Patronum" (Patronus Charm) Pronunciation: /ɛksˈpɛktoʊ pəˈtroʊnəm/ eks-pek-toh pə-troh-nəm Description: Conjures an incarnation of the caster's innermost positive feelings, such as joy or hope, known as a Patronus. A Patronus is conjured as a protector, and is a weapon rather than a predator of souls: Patronuses shield their conjurors from Dementors or Lethifolds, and can even drive them away. They are also used amongst the Order of the Phoenix to send messages. According to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the Charm is the only known defensive spell against Lethifolds. Seen/mentioned: First seen in Prisoner of Azkaban when a Dementor appears in the Hogwarts Express, and Hermione says that Remus Lupin repelled the Dementor by casting a silvery object from his wand. Harry's corporeal Patronus first appears in a Quidditch game, and other characters throughout the rest of the series use it. (Source: Wikipedia) So, in short: Harry Potter spell.