Miscellaneous: Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I...

By Anna L. - 25/03/2013 00:23 - United States - San Antonio

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 176

You deserved it 6 588

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Same thing different taste

By spriggs - 25/07/2010 09:06 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 846

You deserved it 127 658

By Anonymous - 06/03/2014 02:09 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 249

You deserved it 16 851

By anonymous - 20/12/2010 11:23

Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 114

You deserved it 3 268

Sorry, man

By Lii - 24/03/2015 01:04 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 094

You deserved it 15 425

By Jebus - 07/06/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 137

You deserved it 60 996

Halloween has started early

By Anonymous - 22/10/2019 00:01

Today, while walking down the street, I was violently beaten up by a man in a Darth Vader outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 625

You deserved it 165

By ohman - 17/07/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 270

You deserved it 8 190

Freaked out

By CriminalMistake - 04/05/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 668

You deserved it 63 212

Sussy baka

By black hoodie - 19/05/2013 23:07 - United States - Shrewsbury

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 168

You deserved it 5 975

By pinkrazrgirl247 - 03/07/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 437

You deserved it 52 216

Rumbelle_fml 22

Monday 25 March 2013 9:23

That's a clear violation of the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy, and I sincerely hope you reported him to the Ministry.

Gaga_is_God6969 13

Monday 25 March 2013 9:22

LMFAO. I'm sorry....but that's kinda awesome, actually.

Comments

andrew6p 19

Monday 25 March 2013 11:24

I guess this guy thinks he's the old version of Harry Potter :p

MidnaLink 33

Monday 25 March 2013 12:14

Wow... just after 7am where I live and my day is already made.

lantu 5

Monday 25 March 2013 12:16

He might share a FML story here if you turned back and scared him :))

MayMars 4

Monday 25 March 2013 12:21

Forget how cool it was. The question is, did the spell work?

buddy51 23

Monday 25 March 2013 12:28

OP- Was it raining balls? I understand that happens in Texas... Anyway, I hope you replied "Engorgio" and "Erecto"- He'll end up so distracted, erect and engorged that he won't be able to walk to chase you! You win at wizarding!!

Zen_Mei 17

Monday 25 March 2013 12:42

Hahahaha thanks for sharing, you just made my day!!

cappellaaa 23

Monday 25 March 2013 13:14

that's ******* hilarious. and not bad whatsoever, laugh it off

Vickyh46 8

Monday 25 March 2013 13:50

Hahaha! Sounds like my sort of bum. Awesome man. :D

wvcheesehead1 9

Monday 25 March 2013 14:13

Actually you probably look like the Unabomber.

lmbachman 23

Monday 25 March 2013 14:31

And how does a homeless man get to watch Harry Potter??

Diesel_baby 18

Monday 25 March 2013 14:35

Maybe he wasn't always homeless....

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 25 March 2013 15:55

Just stand outside the local TV shop and watch. Especially during March Madness when all the basketball is on, you don't need to buy some big screen TV. Just bring a bag of popcorn and beer and watch on that 70" monstrosity they're demoing.