Love: Today, me and my girlfriend went to the club. The song "Single...

By dumpedattheclub - 28/03/2009 03:40 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend went to the club. The song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce came on; the DJ came on the mic and said "Single ladies raise your hands!" My girlfriend raised her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 978

You deserved it 7 274

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By oddbrien - 13/12/2016 03:34 - United States - Baltimore

Today, while at the club, I started dancing with a girl who I had noticed throughout the night. When she turned around she firmly stated, "I'd much rather dance by myself". FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 515

You deserved it 4 377

By intranator - 08/04/2009 21:43 - Jordan

Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 937

You deserved it 9 693

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 21:28 - United States

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 540

You deserved it 3 197

He bangs the drums

By PhilDavisDied? - 30/09/2010 10:33 - France

Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 129

You deserved it 35 051

By Anonymous - 03/12/2011 02:02 - United Kingdom

Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 844

You deserved it 4 744

Shut up

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 20:00

Today, a girl came up to me on a club dance floor and said, “Shut up and dance with me,” like the song lyrics, only I fell over on her while dancing, and she dislocated her ankle. I don’t think this woman is gonna be my destiny after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 343

By therealkathl - 05/03/2015 13:32 - Austria

Today, my boyfriend convinced a girl at the club to break up with her boyfriend and go home with him. She did. Now I'm single too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 305

You deserved it 3 445

By Anonymous - 14/02/2014 01:31 - United States

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 996

You deserved it 7 259

By I Tried - 29/01/2016 22:18 - United States - Burton

Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 453

You deserved it 3 642

By Anonymous - 02/02/2013 23:03 - Belgium - Schepdaal

Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 279

You deserved it 3 781

darkfaery 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 11:02

If you two are not married, then technically, she IS single. And if you don't want her to be single, then you ought to put a ring on it!

Carolaaine 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 10:47

As long as she doesn't try to kiss another boy (or boyS) you're quite safe.. It's just a song

Comments

jsmith1199 0

Friday 3 April 2009 0:43

**** #88 you're just retarded #90.. YOU'RE the fool

yesbutnotyou 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 19:53

put a ring on it!!!!!

jsmith1199 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 20:47

I hope you raised your hand too.. And then brought it down right on her face

hattar 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 6:23

Ur girlfriends a bitch!

fuckedup666 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 10:19

Wow, you are taking this way too seriously. Stop being paranoid!

NoSunHere 0

Monday 13 April 2009 18:20

You said "me and my girlfriend" not my wife and I...technically, she is a single girl WTF are you complaining about?

LubbyDubby23 0

Monday 20 April 2009 5:43

lol thats so funny. but dont take it so serious it's only a song :) cheer up kiddo ;)

24788 6

Wednesday 29 April 2009 9:41

I think she was just trying to have fun.

lamisscrown 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 14:03

DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM she smooth

fireballa18 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 22:14

that happened to me too!!!

Keywords

My ex Awkward Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Relatable Work Money DIY Kids Parenting Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 217

You deserved it 5 147

Today, I went out to dinner with a cute, funny, smart, amazing girl. Or at least I thought she was cute, until she started coughing after her meal. She explained that she coughs after she eats. Can you say dealbreaker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 561

The Top

Today, I got a call about my dog who went missing a week ago. The guy who called said "We have your dog, but you aren't getting her back." Then he hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 665

You deserved it 2 907

Today, I was offered a position as a school crossing guard. I have a $200,000 degree in Economics from a top 20 University and was offered a position to hold a stop sign and wear a reflective vest. I was tempted to accept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 153

You deserved it 7 068

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 989

Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 038

You deserved it 3 007

Today, I finally got the courage to ask out the guy I've liked for a long time. He's a cashier at a grocery store. It was about 1am and I was his last customer, everything seemed just right. Just when I was about to ask him to the movies, a drunk girl stumbles in and asks him out. He said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 675

You deserved it 6 969

Today, my roommates adopted two kittens without consulting me. We're not allowed to have pets in our apartment and I'm severely allergic to cats. Oh well, it's not like I needed to be able to breathe this summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 306

You deserved it 345

Same thing different taste

He bangs the drums

Shut up

Top comments

Comments