Kids: Today, my 12 year old cousin decided that "all men are pigs"...

By Ann - 31/05/2011 16:47 - United States

Today, my 12 year old cousin decided that "all men are pigs" and deleted every male contact in my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 185

You deserved it 4 902

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Same thing different taste

By DCarreon - 04/10/2012 07:13 - United States - Ceres

Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 328

You deserved it 3 264

Cruel winter

By Not funny! - 22/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my uncle stole my cousin's phone to take a picture of me. He then sent said picture to my cousin's boyfriend, saying that she'd been cheating on him with me for over a year. He's been cheated on before and is hysterical. My uncle then had the nerve to act all defensive when my cousin and I exploded at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 77

Jealousy

By jake - 10/01/2021 18:02 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female contacts or she’d set my stuff on fire. Yes, that includes my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 259

By jakeson12 - 24/11/2012 00:38 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 944

You deserved it 3 539

By amber - 13/03/2010 09:03 - United States

Today, I bitched out my boyfriend for logging into my facebook account and deleting EVERY male (even family) off my friends list. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him and has forced me to say "sorry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 856

You deserved it 17 738

They hated her because she spoke the truth

By Anonymous - 21/08/2021 06:01

Today, I threw a pillow at my 8 year-old cousin while play-fighting. She gave me a look, then muttered, "You don't have any girlfriends and the girls that talk to you probably have no taste." FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 114

By alissa_roar - 18/04/2011 17:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years told me I was being too obsessive. This is the guy who has gone through my phone two separate times and deleted all of my male contacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 795

You deserved it 8 512

By brittbrat4 - 13/08/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 308

You deserved it 36 639

No introductions needed

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom - Bangor

Today, my younger half-sister discovered my existence. She then went to our grandparents' house, smashed my picture off their wall, and ransacked their house looking for other pictures of me to destroy. She's in her mid-twenties, behaving like a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 106

Don't you know that you're toxic?

By Anonymous - 07/07/2020 23:02

Today, I found out my girlfriend talks to around 18 other men for fun. She says she loves me more, but I told her to prove it, so I took her phone and deleted the social media accounts that she made just for these men. Now I'm a "toxic controlling monster" because I don't let her chat with random men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 696

You deserved it 811

faithe92 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 22:20

start em off early

Keyman1212 14

Tuesday 31 May 2011 22:20

I don't look like a pig

Comments

AnonanonAm0s 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 1:32

The result of somebody's uncle touching the No-No Zone!

dabo_fml 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 1:41

ur an idiot

ScuseMePrincess 2

Wednesday 1 June 2011 1:43

Spank her.

brunettegurly 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 2:03

she's a future lesbian

lilmama69 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 2:05

she learned just in time ! hopefully she' ll remember that when she's about 16 !

Awahso 25

Wednesday 1 June 2011 2:07

Say"well all women are bitches" then proceed to delete every female in her phone

IrishSoulja 4

Wednesday 1 June 2011 2:07

I bet shes one of those 12 year olds who have had their hearts broken by their 5up3r haaawt boyfr13ndz!!!!! xoxoxoxo

ifeelya 5

Wednesday 1 June 2011 2:22

Adorable. Quite a clever kid.

curlyhead00 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 2:24

I agree

sneakers9394 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 2:25

smart kid

witterwindyapril 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 2:28

she is twelve who's guys number does she have?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I'm pretty sure my husband of 8 years is sleeping with the skank who's in the fire department with him. Out of nowhere, he started texting her and wouldn’t come home until 12:30 a.m. for a whole week. When I confronted him about it, he flipped out. Sadly, it won’t be the first marriage she’s ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 182

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 133

The Top

Today, I got demoted at work and had a pay cut taken, all because I got sick from cancer and haven't recovered well enough to do every task. We are not short staffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 112

Today, my girl and I with got caught having sex in the car by cops. They thought we were smoking bongs because the windows were foggy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 841

Today, in the process of leaning over the sink to close the drain so my diamond earrings wouldn't fall in as I put them on, I dropped my diamond earring down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 734

Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 775

You deserved it 1 777

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 626

You deserved it 4 799

Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 123