Animals: Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old... - FML

By Anonymous - 13/08/2013 16:51 - Canada - Galt

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 667

You deserved it 5 439

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By What? - 22/01/2013 19:00 - Australia

Today, I found out my ten year-old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 658

You deserved it 4 110

By Anonymous - 14/06/2014 06:42 - Canada - Regina

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 514

You deserved it 7 055

By Anon - 23/05/2016 10:49 - United States - Lansing

Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 230

You deserved it 1 259

By Anonymous - 28/02/2017 14:00 - United States - Troy

Today, my parents finally fulfilled my wish of a pet that I could take care of for a few years. They got a parrot. I guess 75 years or more is a few years to my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 850

You deserved it 1 343

By Ketchup - 22/06/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 791

You deserved it 49 897

By Wenny - 18/01/2009 12:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 421

You deserved it 2 978

Thanks for the input

By NVP - 18/01/2009 14:30 - United States

Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 485

You deserved it 3 816

By Blah - 02/08/2018 05:00

Today, I learned that my (ex) boyfriend has a breastfeeding fetish. How did I learn this? I found him sneaking pictures of my breastfeeding sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 550

You deserved it 268

By Anonymous - 22/08/2013 04:48 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 048

You deserved it 3 785

Don't hate the player…

By Jpaylay - 12/08/2021 14:00 - United States - Lakeland

Today, my brother bamboozled me out of 20$. He's 12 years-old, and I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 797

Next

Top comments

Welshite 39

Wednesday 14 August 2013 0:05

Polly want uhh...breast milk?

Llamassss 21

Wednesday 14 August 2013 0:05

I would imagine that would be pretty painful.

Comments

aklm15 14

Wednesday 14 August 2013 0:32

Sorry about my previous comment, I down voted myself.

imyy 20

Wednesday 14 August 2013 0:40

Solution: breast feed your brother - it'll traumatize him for life!

RoboCunnilingus 23

Wednesday 14 August 2013 3:44

No. Bad commenter. Bad.

BrotherPhil 35

Wednesday 14 August 2013 11:16

I think you maybe on the wrong site: Aphrodisiac is over there ----->

illegalbeagle69 23

Wednesday 14 August 2013 18:40

Ohh myy...

TogeBara 12

Wednesday 14 August 2013 0:46

If this isn't a sign from your brother that your boyfriend is an idiot, then your brother is just mean. Oh and did I mention that your boyfriend is either an idiot or extremely gullible?

goldenturtlez 7

Wednesday 14 August 2013 0:52

You're the breast pirate around ;)

jrock9093 18

Wednesday 14 August 2013 0:54

I think your boyfriend needs some education or he's just a lost cause!!!

corocoro 30

Wednesday 14 August 2013 1:10

Sure sounds like a winner.

dlowry004 14

Wednesday 14 August 2013 1:13

Agreed. Sorry OP, but Your boyfriend's a dipshit.

kogeld 9

Wednesday 14 August 2013 1:29

HAHAHAHA your brother sounds awesome!

Xotoolyxo 16

Wednesday 14 August 2013 1:31

Ouuuchhhh >.

Fuji76 15

Wednesday 14 August 2013 1:44

Who would want a pecker on their boob? Hehehe

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The Top

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 124

You deserved it 40 856

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 878

You deserved it 2 095

The Top

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for smiling and laughing too much. Last week, he reprimanded me for not smiling and laughing enough. FML

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You deserved it 1 882

Today, as I was at work as a gynecologist, a twelve-year-old girl asked me, on a scale of 1-10, how tight her "fun stuff" was. This is the new generation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 419

You deserved it 115

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 976

You deserved it 3 248

Today, I went blueberry picking for the first time since I was a kid. In a huge lot with no one in it, a pickup truck choose to block us into a corner lot spot. When asked to move, the pickup driver said, “I hope the shade spot was worth it.” He then flashed a gun! FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 120

Today, my cousin came to visit from Texas. It would have been great if he hadn't groped me and whispered, "Incest isn't illegal" when he saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 839

You deserved it 360

Today, it's been awhile since I've had decent sex. I was "in the mood" after being sick for two weeks, so I pulled out my little "bedroom friend." Right on the verge of a really big O, I spotted a giant spider about 3 ft over my head, which completely killed my lady boner. Is there a female equivalent of blue balls? FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 161