Kids: Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked...

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By Anonymous - 12/03/2014 03:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

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Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

Not now, Sweetie

By Redbeard - 24/01/2020 05:00

Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML

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By todaddy - 23/05/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

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By WOCOACH - 09/09/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

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True

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 16:09

Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML

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By anonymous - 28/07/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

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Kids talk

By SerenityJ - 27/09/2013 20:00 - United States - Mountain View

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

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By BrandonDrapeau - 03/08/2015 02:57 - United States - Sparta

Today, I told my son about wet dreams, what they are and how they are normal. Afterwards, he exclaimed, "It's kinda like when I beat off, except I'm asleep! Awesome!" FML

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You deserved it 3 602

By njh - 27/03/2015 13:29 - Ireland

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

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First amendment issue

By God please make it stop - 03/08/2023 22:00

Today, my four year-old son has reached the phase where yelling random words is funny. I can't go five minutes without hearing, "CHICKEN NUGGET!" or "KALAMAZOO!" or "STINKY SOCKS!" FML

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You deserved it 278

Nutshot

By Blue Nut Records - 31/10/2023 18:00 - Switzerland - Delémont

Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 92

TheGreatAlexande 12

Wednesday 12 March 2014 10:40

They grow up so fast. :']

jtthegr8 26

Wednesday 12 March 2014 10:42

Not too long now before you catch him yanking his doodle. Hopefully he doesn't sing about that one.

Comments

LumpLegacy 15

Wednesday 12 March 2014 12:32

that's adorable.

holliepong 8

Wednesday 12 March 2014 12:32

kids nowadays...

bobslawnservice 16

Wednesday 12 March 2014 12:35

That is just plain awesome. Stop bragging.

102fuckyoulane 7

Wednesday 12 March 2014 13:03

What did you want him to say?

xblackoutblondie 5

Wednesday 12 March 2014 13:07

This generation is so screwed up!..

olpally 32

Wednesday 12 March 2014 13:53

He's 3 years old, he doesn't know any better. Calm down. I think it's hilarious.

clrichmond2009 24

Wednesday 12 March 2014 15:22

oh, its always the fault of the generation! you know that!

FucYoCouch 13

Wednesday 12 March 2014 17:39

I hate when people say "this generation is screwed up" If anyone is to blame, wouldn't it be the generation that rose this generation, thus making the generation before this generation the screwed up generation? On a serious note, it's natural for children to learn stuff about their body. How is the "generation screwed up" simply because he hasn't learned the medically correct term yet? He's three. And obviously picked up on the word.