Kids: Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her...

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 23:32 - Ireland

Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 708

You deserved it 6 571

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Same thing different taste

By ScaryBears - 09/10/2012 01:51 - United States - Trumbull

Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 165

You deserved it 32 740

By hair2daygone4ever - 14/01/2010 15:45 - United States

Today, my four-year-old daughter thought it'd be funny to cut my hair while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 607

You deserved it 4 771

Spooked

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 253

Spooky

By BadgerSpirit - 27/04/2011 13:35 - United States

Today, I woke my husband up at 2 a.m., screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally said, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four-year-old daughter with her blanket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 882

You deserved it 43 834

By Anonymous - 18/03/2011 09:25 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 155

You deserved it 4 172

By Anonymous - 28/01/2014 21:57 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 713

You deserved it 5 759

By TeddyBearKiller - 07/10/2013 01:11 - United States

Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 677

You deserved it 3 297

By lon01t - 07/05/2012 20:43 - United Kingdom - Falkirk

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 293

You deserved it 2 647

No sleep til Brooklyn

By blahblah - 24/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, finally we got our toddler daughter to sleep in her own bed. The wife and I were both excited to finally have our room to ourselves. Just as our daughter was about to fall asleep, the damn cat went into her room and loudly hacked up a huge hairball. Now she's back in mommy's and daddy's bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 312

You deserved it 7 047

By cay - 30/01/2013 19:59 - United States - Holley

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 320

You deserved it 3 247

HowAreYouToday 34

Tuesday 12 March 2013 5:34

Put your ****** in front of his face. He'll be terrified thinking it would want to eat him and never cross you again.

SakataGintoki 9

Tuesday 12 March 2013 5:34

This means war! Get back at him. Whatever he's afraid of, shove it in his face when he's asleep so when he wakes up and has a mini heart attack!

Comments

PenguinBitch 43

Tuesday 12 March 2013 6:16

"Can I have a hug?" What a sweet bear. "And your blood!" WHAT THE HELL!!?

IworkAt711 14

Tuesday 12 March 2013 7:54

This actually kinda reminds me of my ex.....

Hamz1989 13

Tuesday 12 March 2013 6:19

Get some person with really good makeup portraying them to be dead and when he wakes up to see a dead stranger next to him will make him flip a s***.

noelasis94 18

Tuesday 12 March 2013 6:21

Hang a fake penis in front of him, and tell him the penis monster will now make frequent stops.

cheshireau 26

Tuesday 12 March 2013 6:40

What a dick move. Make him tend to the baby as punishment. I'd go away for the weekend and have him deal. He won't do it again I bet

kishorekumar_a 10

Tuesday 12 March 2013 15:36

No need to punish the baby too...

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 12 March 2013 16:29

It should not be punishment for a dad to tend to their own child.

kishorekumar_a 10

Tuesday 12 March 2013 18:33

68 - If he already scared the baby purposefully, imagine what he might do knowingly or unknowingly?

nvo 6

Tuesday 12 March 2013 6:45

His sense of humor, his pronlem: let him sleep in her room, to guard her sleep. That should speed things up because he will get creative to wean your daughter from the habit he induced and get back to your bed. In the meantime, you can enjoy a few nights of uninterrupted sleep!

ophel1a 7

Tuesday 12 March 2013 10:30

this is the best solution i've read. kudos!

SuperDanielNL 23

Tuesday 12 March 2013 8:10

Being four years old sounds like a bad LSD trip.

gracehi 31

Tuesday 12 March 2013 10:10

An LSD trip that lasts a year! XP

Ksweety_fml 27

Tuesday 12 March 2013 8:26

You're husband is a dick head for doing that. Poor babyy! ):

asdfghjklana 9

Tuesday 12 March 2013 10:13

Hopefully she won't kick you off.

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Tuesday 12 March 2013 10:42

Yeah sometimes adults don't realize that what they see as harmless jokes to a child can actually have long psychological consequences. My father used to prank me with dead spiders. I have now a severe arachnophobia which put me more than once in awkward if not unsafe situations and I am in my thirties. I agree with some other posters. He should handle the situation now, even if that means sleeping on the floor of her bedroom.