Kids: Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit...

By anonymous - 28/07/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 444

You deserved it 16 962

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Same thing different taste

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 562

You deserved it 3 442

By Noname - 04/12/2008 04:39 - France

Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 083

You deserved it 9 224

By applesmama - 17/09/2011 04:36 - United States

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 479

You deserved it 4 687

By Anonymous - 18/04/2014 22:35 - Canada - Concord

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 381

You deserved it 4 861

Charming...

By Anonymous - 01/06/2018 15:00

Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 371

You deserved it 406

Child's play

By Misbah Akhtar - 21/11/2020 12:59 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 376

By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 00:25 - United States

Today, as I put my 4 year-old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 120

You deserved it 9 204

By NooOOooOO - 11/10/2017 23:15

Today, I learned how artistically talented my daughter is. Unfortunately, her favorite medium to work in is poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 039

You deserved it 340

Splosh

By WhosGoingToCleanThisUp - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter taught me the literal meaning of "When the shit hits the fan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 063

You deserved it 1 844

By mom - 26/01/2014 04:29 - United States - Spring

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 938

You deserved it 10 139

MCVelvet1497 3

Thursday 28 July 2011 12:01

Oh, shit balls.

fricknugget 3

Thursday 28 July 2011 12:01

LMFAO it might be me my new one too!!:P

Comments

Stevefett 0

Friday 29 July 2011 0:53

She learned it from one of you goobers. Thanks mom and dad. You shitballs.

cetlawizard 15

Friday 29 July 2011 0:57

shit balls! wonder who she heard that from??? roflmao!

cristalx33 0

Friday 29 July 2011 1:25

win

fvckyoursadlife 0

Friday 29 July 2011 1:32

oh shittyballs.

tjv3 10

Friday 29 July 2011 1:42

this is why you watch what you say around kids. they are like tape recorders

daltyboy 0

Friday 29 July 2011 1:45

hahahahahshahahahahahahahahahaha

sprite101 0

Friday 29 July 2011 1:46

aren't kids amazing

cooxoxo 9

Friday 29 July 2011 1:50

great parents :)

Aannb98 2

Friday 29 July 2011 2:02

Were did the kid learn it

Aannb98 2

Friday 29 July 2011 2:04

Why let her say it

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The Top

Today, I got dressed, did my hair, carefully applied my makeup, sprayed myself with perfume, grabbed my bag and put on my coat. I got to the door, and then realised that I had nowhere to go, nothing to do and none of my friends were answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 537

Today, I have a skin disease that causes my arms and legs to have small, but noticeable, red bumps on them. Trying to stay confident, I put on a swimsuit and went to the pool, only to be bumped into by a cute guy, who then asked why my arms were so "bumpy and disgusting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 109

The Top

Today, I found out my 35 year-old brother got divorced 18 months ago when my now ex-sister-in-law told me via Facebook messenger, and asked me to tell my parents, as both of them were too scared to do it themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 342

You deserved it 891

At least he's got an FML to share!

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 175

Today, my sister insisted on taking a picture of her plate of pasta “to show her friends what an unworthy family we are”. It was only after she put a candle on her plate that we realized we forgot her birthday. All of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 1 221

Today, while cleaning the hostel, I had to make some beds in a dorm room. There were three guys in the room, one of whom was sitting on a bed. He looked me straight in the eye and I gave him a big smile before I realized he was jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 472

You deserved it 427

Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 887

You deserved it 12 554

Today, I let my mother use my computer for school work. Later that day my mom asks me what's wrong with the computer. I look at it, only seeing a "Welcome to Windows XP" screen. She said that she saw a blue screen and pressed L and C when it asked her to. My mom managed to clear my hard drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 043

You deserved it 3 550

Same thing different taste

Charming...

Child's play

Splosh

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