Kids: Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit...

By anonymous - 28/07/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 436

You deserved it 16 961

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Same thing different taste

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 559

You deserved it 3 440

By Noname - 04/12/2008 04:39 - France

Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 082

You deserved it 9 224

By applesmama - 17/09/2011 04:36 - United States

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 476

You deserved it 4 687

By Anonymous - 18/04/2014 22:35 - Canada - Concord

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 378

You deserved it 4 861

Charming...

By Anonymous - 01/06/2018 15:00

Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 370

You deserved it 405

Child's play

By Misbah Akhtar - 21/11/2020 12:59 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 376

By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 00:25 - United States

Today, as I put my 4 year-old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 115

You deserved it 9 203

By NooOOooOO - 11/10/2017 23:15

Today, I learned how artistically talented my daughter is. Unfortunately, her favorite medium to work in is poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 037

You deserved it 340

Splosh

By WhosGoingToCleanThisUp - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter taught me the literal meaning of "When the shit hits the fan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 062

You deserved it 1 844

By mom - 26/01/2014 04:29 - United States - Spring

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 934

You deserved it 10 135

MCVelvet1497 3

Thursday 28 July 2011 12:01

Oh, shit balls.

fricknugget 3

Thursday 28 July 2011 12:01

LMFAO it might be me my new one too!!:P

Comments

Stevefett 0

Friday 29 July 2011 0:53

She learned it from one of you goobers. Thanks mom and dad. You shitballs.

cetlawizard 15

Friday 29 July 2011 0:57

shit balls! wonder who she heard that from??? roflmao!

cristalx33 0

Friday 29 July 2011 1:25

win

fvckyoursadlife 0

Friday 29 July 2011 1:32

oh shittyballs.

tjv3 10

Friday 29 July 2011 1:42

this is why you watch what you say around kids. they are like tape recorders

daltyboy 0

Friday 29 July 2011 1:45

hahahahahshahahahahahahahahahaha

sprite101 0

Friday 29 July 2011 1:46

aren't kids amazing

cooxoxo 9

Friday 29 July 2011 1:50

great parents :)

Aannb98 2

Friday 29 July 2011 2:02

Were did the kid learn it

Aannb98 2

Friday 29 July 2011 2:04

Why let her say it

Keywords

Annoying Education Confused University Divorce Awkward Love AITA Sex Dreams Relatable Miscellaneous Embarrassing Racism Work Weird Motherhood Cute Pregnancy Kids Harassment Animals Family Poopoo peepee Surprise Health Roommate Food My ex Texting

The Top

Today, I found out my husband of four years has been cheating on me with his boss, who had been kind and treated me well. I never suspected it until I caught them in OUR bed. All he would ever do was come home and complain about how hard his job was. I guess that wasn't the only thing that was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 156

Today, I was in the store when a man started chatting me up. He was good looking and charming. He asked, “So, what are you, 22-23?” I saw him visibly recoil in disgust when I told him my real age. I’m only 35, he was about 50, but he acted like he couldn’t runaway fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 78

The Top

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 3 years. She responded by drinking all the alcohol in sight, falling unconscious and pissing herself. Six hours later, she said that I was too immature and that's why it would never work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 123

You deserved it 1 865

Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 550

You deserved it 37 241

Today, at a family dinner, my grandma asked me why I’m still single. Before I could answer, my dad, always ready with dad joke, quipped, "Because everyone he tries to date runs away faster than he can catch them." My family laughed, and my grandma just nodded and said, "Makes sense." FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 87

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams' phone number. After texting her "Hey, is this Stephanie?" I got response saying "Sorry bro, I know how you feel, she did the same thing to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 623

You deserved it 3 364

Today, I was told I pull the "whole grunge look" off quite well. I don't dress "grunge", nor was that my intention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 482

You deserved it 5 418

Today I noticed a large crack in my windscreen. Two weeks after getting it replaced. The warranty doesn't cover cracks. Several attempts were needed to replace it last time for reasons like losing the new windscreen and telling me they couldn't make it that day and turned up any way after I'd gone out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 016

You deserved it 178

Same thing different taste

Charming...

Child's play

Splosh

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