Miscellaneous: Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around...

By squishy - 11/02/2010 00:07 - United States

Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 471

You deserved it 25 610

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Same thing different taste

By Zedscar - 15/07/2017 22:30 - United States - Martinsburg

Today, my 8-year-old nephew told me he liked the way I smelt. Apparently I smell like "cat food and cheese." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 866

You deserved it 647

By Noname - 03/02/2009 20:25 - United States

Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 737

You deserved it 7 802

By girlmeetsworld - 18/02/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 137

You deserved it 13 659

By anon - 23/03/2015 02:24 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 330

You deserved it 2 937

By sigsigsignify - 06/12/2018 14:00

Today, my 3 year old future niece was combing my hair while I was watching a movie with the future in-laws. She kept leaving saying she was going to "go get the comb wet". I assumed she meant in the bathroom sink. Turns out she was just going around behind the couch and licking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 474

You deserved it 435

Nice of her

By Bill - 06/12/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 967

You deserved it 18 122

By Anonymous - 12/04/2017 16:00

Today, my 3-year-old niece brushed my hair, making sure to be gentle so she wouldn't hurt me. When it was time to brush the front, she made sure to meticulously brush my mustache. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 319

You deserved it 1 049

By Lickmebaby - 12/02/2017 11:00 - United Kingdom - Enfield

Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 751

You deserved it 521

No filter

By Judiee - 28/02/2009 10:52 - United States

Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at a family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4 year-old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say, "You're fat! I like fat things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 894

You deserved it 5 776

By Fatlady43 - 19/01/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 283

You deserved it 6 521

MadaZer0 8

Thursday 11 February 2010 9:45

Hey at least your liked.

MermaidSongXOXO 6

Thursday 11 February 2010 9:48

That's why I like you around, too :) *Steals chicken wing from underneath OP's fat rolls.*

Comments

PVXCRunner15 12

Sunday 23 August 2015 3:00

I guess she's gonna call you squishy and you shall be hers

Davros 12

Friday 6 July 2018 23:13

lol, my 5 year old said the same thing to her brother when he would come home from working at Wings ETC.

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Today, I found out that my boyfriend lost a bunch of money by buying some scam cryto crap linked to that "Hawk tuah" girl. Easiest break-up ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 108

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 422

You deserved it 55 330

The Top

Today, I got a urinary tract infection. I didn’t realize men could get those. Worse yet, my girlfriend thinks it’s an STI because, “IF I’M NOT FUCKING YOU, SOMEONE MUST BE!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 212

Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 765

You deserved it 6 967

Today, my teacher told me that she couldn't find my hand-written essay on the Renaissance, and that I have to re-do it all by tomorrow. I later saw my essay on her desk, covered in a massive coffee stain that made virtually everything unreadable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 325

You deserved it 1 968

Today, after months of getting shockingly more action from my girlfriend then at any point in our last 6 months together, I found out I’m getting more because she cut back on her formerly unmentioned husband’s “access.” Apparently, he refuses to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 700

You deserved it 376

Today, I was sleeping like a baby on our living room couch. My older brother and his friends lit my slippers on fire. While I was wearing them. They even took a video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 098

You deserved it 3 422

Today, after years of struggling with acne, I found out that it's caused by all the bacon I eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 1 269

Same thing different taste

Nice of her

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