Intimacy: Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now...

By Anonymous - 04/02/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 983

You deserved it 7 445

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/11/2009 20:34 - Canada

Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 112

You deserved it 9 655

By xXfloatingshitlogXx - 03/11/2012 16:04 - Norway - Jessheim

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 169

You deserved it 2 172

By Order of the Dangling Testicles - 28/01/2014 20:28 - United States - Astoria

Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 110

You deserved it 4 333

Boundaries, dude!

By Anonymous - 14/09/2019 06:01

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 498

You deserved it 236

We're all in hell

By Looking4AnApartment - 16/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Bellmore

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 156

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 679

You deserved it 3 610

By BreakingTheMood - 13/11/2013 18:08 - Finland - Vanda

Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 958

You deserved it 4 473

By CooBerry3851 - 28/08/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 708

You deserved it 3 253

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 07:00 - United States

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 355

You deserved it 3 531

By yourstruly - 11/02/2010 19:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 714

You deserved it 2 361

Mallorydomio 0

Friday 4 February 2011 12:09

Hahaha fatties need love too

realsdmf 4

Friday 4 February 2011 12:12

Fatty sex is the best sex. Also, they were currently having more sexy time than you.

Comments

happypenguin7293 0

Friday 4 February 2011 17:49

depending on how tall. Yeah it is. for a cheerleader...

hook_em 0

Friday 4 February 2011 17:55

today on animal planet we will discover what the invasion of Normandy sounds like in your own house

burns_daniel 0

Friday 4 February 2011 18:03

LOL OH MAN

ScrabbleBabe2010 0

Friday 4 February 2011 18:18

I finally get to bring a date home and my roomate is too stupid to leave and give us some privacy, instead he just sits in there listening. FML

attatood 8

Saturday 5 February 2011 6:00

I wouldn't leave either. The guy lives there too! Let fatty take his boyfriend somewhere else. He is the disrespectful one.

MissFukMyLuck 0

Friday 4 February 2011 18:31

anorexic dumb bitch sex is pretty nasty too :p

beastin34 0

Friday 4 February 2011 18:36

hahahhaha free willy

BabyBlaze 0

Friday 4 February 2011 19:16

I love the way you described that. This is hysterical.

krazy_glu3 0

Friday 4 February 2011 19:21

gawd you guys are never satisfied. if some weighs a lil more than usual they are fat, but if someone isn't fat, they automatically are considered anorexic. that's friggn retarded. grow up

fearfulsymmetry 1

Friday 4 February 2011 19:57

Explain to me how 400 pounds is not fat. I think it's ridiculous to call someone who weighs 140-160 fat, but 400 ******* pounds? That's OBESE.

varkey 7

Saturday 5 February 2011 3:43

@150: not really, if you were 8'11'' that would be considered normal weight [or if you were tall and SUPER muscular], but i'm just being facetious since only one person ever reached that great a height and @op, fyl, that's just nasty!! [whether or not it's gay as well]

RayeofSunshine 0

Friday 4 February 2011 19:29

Fat people need love too! Besides, who's getting laid and who's whining on FML? Oh, and if you don't want to listen to it, get out of the apartment for an hour instead of whining about it. YDI. And for all the stupid people who wonder how fat people have sex, they have sex like anybody else. I can't believe this is even an issue.