Kids: Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50...

By Lolaa123 - 25/09/2011 04:03 - United States

Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 201

You deserved it 3 860

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Same thing different taste

Teenagers, amirite?

By JustShootMe - 02/11/2020 07:57 - Australia - Gladstone

Today, my daughter told me she would rather hang herself than hang out with me. All I did was remind her to go to bed at a reasonable time to get some sleep for an activity she likes doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 139

By AnonymousCow - 20/09/2016 13:04 - Australia - Perth

Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 816

You deserved it 1 900

Whack-a-Mole

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 02:01

Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 293

The Headmaster Ritual

By angry mama - 21/09/2019 00:01

Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 814

You deserved it 135

By Anonymous - 16/12/2010 14:35 - Taiwan

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 469

You deserved it 4 546

By divorced - 07/03/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I said to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said, "Mommy, I don't want to leave." She wasn't talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 119

You deserved it 10 449

By Anonymous - 15/10/2012 10:28 - United States - Richmond

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 488

You deserved it 63 310

By DocShadow - 03/12/2013 17:33 - United States - New York

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 662

You deserved it 8 850

By Nuts - 07/11/2015 02:55 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 707

You deserved it 3 166

Bad mom

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, my daughter's school called to inform me that I needed to bring her some sneakers. Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school, I told them I was away from town. Then I realized I was on my house phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 674

You deserved it 71 366

tigerlilypop 7

Sunday 25 September 2011 9:19

Well shit, go chill with them cool parents.

xlorawrz 9

Sunday 25 September 2011 9:22

And she's only five? Imagine the teenage years.

Comments

gleeklove 2

Sunday 25 September 2011 15:18

It's crazy... I mean I was babysitting a little girl yesterday and she called me a freak. What has our generation turned into...

daydreamer244 13

Sunday 25 September 2011 15:40

no big deal, she just called u uncool thts all.

lolitroll_fml 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 16:01

Teen years will suck for you Daughter: you can drop me off 10 blocks away from school Mom: why? Daughter: because my friends think your lame

roxyelizabeth 3

Sunday 25 September 2011 16:01

Kids learn by example.

AnagenisisZagus 13

Sunday 25 September 2011 16:05

You totally deserve it, OP. Everyone knows you are supposed to hang with the cool parents. Bah, you're such a square.

ilovenutella10 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 16:11

Give her a barbie doll and you'll be cool ;)

BritLass 15

Sunday 25 September 2011 16:16

School is one big social hierarchy, that's just the way it is! So don't feel bad (:

lvlytwin 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 16:23

Loser!!

mishkaroni 15

Sunday 25 September 2011 16:44

what does a 5 year old know about cool? Maybe you didn't buy her the right lunchable or pudding flavor for lunch.

MegumiStarr 13

Sunday 25 September 2011 16:45

kids nowadays

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I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 21

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in The Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 650

You deserved it 8 222

The Top

Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 090

You deserved it 65 946

Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 198

Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 902

You deserved it 3 811

Today, while working roadside assistance, I arrived to a bewildered client who couldn't find their spare tire. The vehicle in question was a Jeep. I pointed out the spare, but was corrected as "that's just for decoration." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 968

You deserved it 301

Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 409

You deserved it 10 135

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 193

You deserved it 2 777