Miscellaneous: Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was...

By shoelace18 - 06/09/2009 04:19 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 885

You deserved it 5 969

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Same thing different taste

By laptitesouris - 31/03/2013 23:35 - France - Pertuis

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 135

You deserved it 7 102

Felt cute, might delete myself later

By being a fairy is hard - 28/10/2021 08:00

Today, my daughter lost a tooth. I wanted to make the Tooth Fairy experience extra special, so I dipped her doll's feet in paint to leave “tracks” from the window to her bed. As I was adding the finishing touches and spreading glitter, I tripped on a toy, faceplanted and lost my own tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 392

By snapped - 13/11/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 117

You deserved it 9 445

By DENTALITY - 23/05/2015 11:06 - Norway

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 054

You deserved it 3 668

By Fffhjno - 28/09/2016 18:15 - United States - Providence

Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 114

You deserved it 1 195

By Toothy - 02/04/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 985

You deserved it 50 045

What am I doing?

By janesays - 24/02/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 592

You deserved it 66 556

By Jarryd - 10/02/2012 05:40 - Australia

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 567

You deserved it 7 503

Gummy

By madeleine - 08/04/2021 05:00

Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 291

By Anonymous - 03/04/2017 00:00

Today, my husband told my 5-year-old daughter that if I swallowed a watermelon seed, I would get pregnant. Tonight, she dropped one in my mouth while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 309

You deserved it 629

graveworm 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 12:05

she's 5 and your how old? how can she make you do anything? get a grip.

PityFool 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 12:05

I don't know what to think, here. Either that's love, or that's just demeaning. This could be the first time she learns about loss, if you stop right now.

Comments

Satans_Taint 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 16:06

sick sick sick .. reason # 111 why I don't want kids

normandin131 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 16:07

Well did you find it?

Poonheart 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 16:12

YDI for being a **** with a poop fetish

SookMauNoots 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 16:17

how can a 5 year old MAKE you do that. pansy

letitbe56 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 16:23

There are some things that you not only CAN, but SHOULD say no to.

mycatissoft 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 16:35

I should stop reading FMLs at breakfast... (see booger finger story)... Beurkkk.

bookworm124 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 16:43

That's love for you. I think it's very valient of you. BUT The same thing happened to me when I was little. My parents told me that "the tooth fairy knew when you lose a tooth and all you need to do is write a letter to her explaining what happened." Part of being a parent is being creative.

pog0_fml 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 16:53

YDI for lying to your kid

save_me_08 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 16:57

Why didn't you just tell her to like sleep with a pillow over her stomach? It's the same basic principle.

null_fml 11

Sunday 6 September 2009 23:56

Kids have active imaginations. I can see that ending badly - with the child having nightmares of the tooth fairy cutting her stomach open. Good idea though.

littlegoldwoman 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 16:57

Damn your stupid. Give her 10 dollars ans take her to buy a toy and she will forget. I cnat belive you have a tooth fairy that will even take a tooth that was covered in shit. You and your tooth fairy are DUMB!