Work: Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom,...

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By fired - 23/11/2010 13:41 - United States

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 229

You deserved it 65 541

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America, fix your bathroom stalls

By Anonymous - 11/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my boss overheard me in a bathroom stall talking about how much I hate my job and couldn’t stand him. He didn’t say a word, I hadn't even heard him come in, I just noticed him staring silently at me through the crack in the stall, before leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 658

By Anonymous - 13/12/2016 15:06 - United States

Today, I was on my way to work and someone cut me off. I then switched lanes and sped past the person as I flipped them off. What I didn't notice was that the person that cut me off was my boss. He's been shooting me dirty looks from across the room all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 997

You deserved it 5 799

Kill me now

By bademployee - 12/08/2014 23:16 - United States - Portland

Today, my boss had a lengthy and obnoxiously egocentric conversation with a colleague. After she left across the office, I stood up, looked over at my colleague, and made a sarcastic "shooting myself in the head" gesture. I saw my boss staring at me over a cubicle wall as I turned around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 888

You deserved it 21 681

Got something for you

By Anonymous - 01/05/2013 21:48 - United States

Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 174

You deserved it 40 914

By TJ AJ RJ / IV the V - 21/11/2014 06:11 - United States - San Diego

Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 799

You deserved it 4 116

By robert - 31/01/2012 00:20 - United States

Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 484

You deserved it 4 223

Weird guy

By thinkimquitting - 25/06/2012 21:49 - Australia - Yarraville

Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 251

You deserved it 2 587

Skill issue

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 718

You deserved it 1 919

Happy dance

By Anonymous - 26/10/2024 17:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, at work, I was on the toilet for so long the motion lights turned off. I stood up, pants around my ankles and began waving my arms above the stall to get them to turn on again. At that exact moment, my boss walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 153

By jeed(1) - 25/08/2013 21:36 - France - Marseille

Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 702

You deserved it 5 311

AkeemKN 1

Tuesday 23 November 2010 18:59

kill him.

WeirdUp 0

Tuesday 23 November 2010 19:06

looked in the mirror LIKE A BOSS!!!!!

Comments

prinzess_fml 25

Tuesday 23 November 2010 20:48

IcyJack 7

Tuesday 23 November 2010 21:00

+ window

IcyJack 7

Tuesday 23 November 2010 21:02

Why are these so common?

WhatTheFuq 0

Tuesday 23 November 2010 21:11

The op got fired. Read the name of the fml by the ops location.

lovemeorloseme7 4

Tuesday 23 November 2010 21:15

and somehow you failed to notice the mirror before hand?.....and how do you not notice your own self in the mirror doing these gestures?...

kite1099 3

Tuesday 23 November 2010 21:17

thus your username getowned.

Nadinek98 0

Tuesday 23 November 2010 21:44

u r beast

Nadinek98 0

Tuesday 23 November 2010 22:01

he does realize u have to kill him now ?

WinterBlue42 22

Wednesday 2 July 2014 11:41

Because it is SO hard to use capitals. . And type two extra letters.

cheeksMcgeeks 3

Tuesday 23 November 2010 21:49

YA DUN GOOF'D.

katiebells 0

Tuesday 23 November 2010 22:36

stop haaaatin' on hiiimmm!

Illyriel 0

Wednesday 24 November 2010 8:09

yeahhhhhhhhhhhh youuuu stoppppppppppp itttttttttt! stoppppppp the hatinnnnnn'!!!! Does typing like this make me look hip and cool?

amyyx3 0

Tuesday 23 November 2010 21:59

Lol, ydi!

thisisLAUREN 0

Tuesday 23 November 2010 22:23

you ******* dumbass

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The Top

Today, it’s been three hours since my girlfriend starting giving me the silent treatment. I went to the bakery to buy some pastries, so I asked her if she wanted any before I left. She said “No.” I came home with one pastry for myself and she threw a tantrum because she'd said “No” to see if I would get her one anyway. I’m confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 209

Today, during a private discussion, my teenage son confessed to me he finally lost his virginity several weeks ago. Why did he confess? He came to me to ask why it all of a sudden hurts when he pees, and asked if it could have anything to do with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 353

You deserved it 419

The Top

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 014

You deserved it 2 328

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 435

You deserved it 562

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response, "Still missing". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 505

You deserved it 7 020

Today, my newly ex-fiancé, the father of my 5-year-old child, moved out of state with no warning. I just spent my last $500 paying off his car, and the rent is due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 684

You deserved it 6 252

Today, the token of appreciation from my husband after paying off his student loan debt, being his support system when his mother died, and cooking and cleaning for his ass everyday, is him getting my sister pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 121

Today, I had to call the cops at 10:30 at night because of the meth smoke from my neighbor burning my nostrils, with a heavy waft of cigarette covering it up. They never smoke cigarettes, except as a less-than-average way to cover up the drugs that I can pinpoint after being at two different shelters in Denver and Boulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 117