Kids: Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according...

By thisguy - 08/10/2013 09:55 - United States - Fountain Valley

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 728

You deserved it 4 737

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Not a biology major

By babymomma - 14/09/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years almost broke up with me. Why? Our one month old's hair is growing in blonde, and we both have dark hair. Did I cheat? No. I had blonde hair as a child until I was 4... As did everyone else born in my family. I guess this factor doesn't count when you're paranoid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 017

You deserved it 5 696

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 22:00

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the picture of "him as a baby" is really his son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 197

You deserved it 171

By confusedbutloved - 08/07/2012 12:42 - United States - North Easton

Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 451

You deserved it 3 893

He has issues

By just a joke - 08/06/2020 20:08

Today, I playfully drew thick eyebrows on my one-year-old son to make him look like a cartoon villain. He laughed cutely in the mirror as I took some adorable pictures. When my husband saw, he threw such a horrendous fit about boys and makeup, I was reduced to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 679

You deserved it 365

By Anonymous - 24/09/2012 19:09 - United States

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 901

You deserved it 2 676

By -_- - 12/01/2014 08:03 - United States

Today, my wife told my 7-year-old son that he looks just like me. He began crying and said, "I don't want to be ugly like him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 455

You deserved it 4 919

By ellieowenie - 29/07/2012 08:11 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 754

You deserved it 3 438

Family extension

By now what - 26/07/2020 05:01

Today, I ran into a friend that I hadn't seen in about 5 years. She had her 4-year-old son with her. I couldn’t help but notice her son looked almost identical to mine. He even had a very distinct facial feature that my husband has as well. What are the odds all three of them have the same defect? FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 487

You deserved it 255

By Anonymous - 01/01/2009 03:45 - France

Today, my wife and I both have blond hair and blue eyes, we just had a red headed son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 977

You deserved it 9 194

By gibsonSG323 - 14/06/2010 23:13 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 712

You deserved it 28 557

jizzwold 21

Tuesday 8 October 2013 15:53

You cheated on your boyfriend with a potato?

wantmeasandwich 26

Tuesday 8 October 2013 16:03

Not just any potato. An old, wrinkly one. Shame! I hope you can talk your way out of this one, OP.

Comments

Zebediabolical 39

Tuesday 8 October 2013 18:34

When my daughter was born I thought I'd been cheated on with Winston Churchill!

courtjester86 8

Tuesday 8 October 2013 18:42

This is we get married FIRST before having a baby to make sure this is the man you want the rest of your life with and have children with. I have no remorse for you at all for having a "baby daddy" like that. Good job!

Dontalktome 9

Tuesday 8 October 2013 18:58

Hope he's joking... If not, there is always a paternity test. If you can't afford one, I hear a guy named Maury gives them out for free.

jannatanelle 5

Tuesday 8 October 2013 19:07

get a DNA test hello

JKROB 16

Tuesday 8 October 2013 19:07

when Mrs potato head finds she will be pissed

Omniprism 14

Tuesday 8 October 2013 19:21

You should tell him what you just told us. Maybe that'll shut him up. But his comment makes me think it's not deep seeded than that. Maybe he's insecure with himself and doesn't trust you. Or he really didn't want a child and is looking for an excuse to think it's not his. Maybe talk to him. And congrats. My sister is pregnant with her second and I'm so excited.