By youre dumped shitforbrain - 19/08/2012 16:52 - Sweden - H?lleforsn

Today, my boyfriend again accused me of cheating on him. This time, it was because I delayed replying to his text message so I could feed my pet. Apparently I'm fucking my pet toad now. Jesus. FML
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Top comments

beezerbnt00 4

Pretty sure that's illegal....

378 9

Comments

Turtle_rebellion 10

Jesus indeed...

2 17
tylermt1999 17

How do you even **** a toad?

31 5
Zachthejoker 10

That was my first thought! That's not even possible, right?

10 0
kroekdog 7

Well.... Long tongue....

10 1
jessimica642 8

13 if you really want to know go on You Tube and look up "monkey rapes frog" but beware its something I wish I'd never seen!

9 0
zandalee 19

13- wrap it in plastic cling film (glad-wrap) first

2 1
borkchop1992 15

Have you taken up ***********?

6 30
borkchop1992 15

I have but sadly my english teachers do not teach us about ******* animals so that has nothing to do with it.

29 10
klovely22 13

Actually 26, it can be spelled both ways. 16's way is the slang version of the word. Same meaning.

5 0
perdix 29

You named you pet toad Jesus? Wait, . . . that's a period, not a comma. Never mind. Note to self: Wipe down your screen more often.

40 14
adorablecanuck 4

what exactly is on your computer screen?! no, wait, i dont want to know.

8 1
perdix 29

#141, relax, it's just dust that make periods look like commas.

5 0
zandalee 19

Yeah sure... You are rather well known for your dirty mind.

3 0
deadxwedding84 5

*********** can be quite dangerous, but probably a better bargain than your paranoid boyfriend.

5 13
br0ccoli 14

Good for you for realizing his need for a lobotomy. I bet tonight, he will accuse his right hand of cheating on him with his left.

18 2
deadxwedding84 5

"the right hand does not know what the left is doing." lol

10 0
Bluekaren16 19

A lobotomy will leave him emotionless. And very few doctors around the world perform this dangerous procedure.

2 4
tisvana20 6

Maybe in science fiction. Lobotomies are just removing lobes, I've seen them referred to when removing a section of the lungs or liver because of cancer. [If they aren't, then I blame my old Pathologist friend.] They are also an extreme treatment for epilepsy, but it's a different name because it's removing half the brain. Also, apologies if you were being sarcastic.

1 1
AznSamoan52 10

Geez. Your boyfriend is really clingy. But, the most important question is, how do you even have sex with a toad?

3 2
FatGuyLover 0

You know what? I think op's bf is right, toads are really seductive now a days, you should See the way they eye me down when they see me

12 1