Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2...

By anonymous - 11/02/2012 05:57 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 982

You deserved it 5 641

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Same thing different taste

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 813

You deserved it 5 298

Bragging

By lastalittlelonger - 05/12/2009 09:07 - United States

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 721

You deserved it 3 171

By user210 - 26/03/2012 03:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 087

You deserved it 4 083

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 847

You deserved it 6 146

Great timing

By letdown - 19/07/2020 14:01

Today, I finally had sex with a coworker I’d been flirting with for nearly 2 and half years. The sex lasted less than 2 and a half minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596

You deserved it 719

By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 953

You deserved it 3 070

By Sooz - 03/10/2013 01:18 - Canada - Abbotsford

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 415

You deserved it 5 843

Poor performance

By Anonymous - 28/12/2022 03:00

Today, I finally had sex with my husband and orgasmed. Three hours apart from each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 318

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 1 778

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 800

You deserved it 4 726

Cavebone 5

Saturday 11 February 2012 12:07

that's a solid 50% improvement.

DalPozzo13 10

Saturday 11 February 2012 12:06

That's sad, my dog has gotten it on with a pillow longer than that haha

Comments

je1222 1

Monday 13 February 2012 6:04

Aww give the guy a break, he tried.

Da_Princ3ss 1

Monday 13 February 2012 9:28

Omg really does he know u need to be pleased too. . . Lol sorry sucks fod u

dylanjb7 0

Monday 13 February 2012 10:03

You should try letting him chow you first then see how long he wants to be in you

kei1108 13

Monday 13 February 2012 16:03

If you love him, you will take what his body can give you.

lemonsquid 6

Monday 13 February 2012 17:14

....haha?

HussREC 6

Tuesday 14 February 2012 0:39

hahaha he's getting there

dylanjb7 0

Tuesday 14 February 2012 7:45

I'll have sex with you as long as you want

tyoung_1313 3

Tuesday 14 February 2012 8:52

just get him drunk. whiskey dick makes a guy last for hours

baileybug93 0

Tuesday 14 February 2012 9:32

Lol that's longer than my ex ever was...

AKholic47 0

Tuesday 14 February 2012 10:04

Wow..really? 3 to 4 hours isn't long enough for me.

Keywords

Annoying Education Confused University Divorce Awkward Love AITA Sex Dreams Relatable Miscellaneous Embarrassing Racism Work Weird Motherhood Cute Pregnancy Kids Harassment Animals Family Poopoo peepee Surprise Health Roommate Food My ex Texting

The Top

Today, it appears that the cousin who burglarized my house and threatened to kill my wife, daughter, and me during a meth binge is more welcome at a family reunion than we are. We were assured last year by family that this wouldn't happen, because we are "good people who have wronged no one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 209

You deserved it 219

Today, I was accused of faking tears and lying about my pop's death to get out of work. I was even demoted for being "a liar and untrustworthy." I went home to grieve after finding out he only has a few days left to live. That man raised me. I feel totally broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 60

The Top

Today, I sat in my room on the computer instead of attending the party of the year. I got kicked out because I wasn't invited. The party was in my back yard, hosted by my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 364

You deserved it 4 157

Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 495

You deserved it 2 894

Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 819

You deserved it 1 287

Today, I called the cops on this guy who kept emailing me without revealing who he was. I had told him that if he emailed me again, I would call the cops, so I did. Turns out it was my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 051

You deserved it 2 726

Today, it’s my birthday. Not only did my boyfriend of 5 years forget, when I reminded him, he said very unenthusiastically, “Oh, Happy Birthday.” When I said, “That’s it?” he got annoyed and said,“Well, what else do you want me to tell you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 1 254

Today, I found out the girl I’ve been seeing, and having lots of kinky sex with, I’m talking "confess to a priest or take to your grave" kind of kinky, is actually my cousin who moved abroad when she was two years-old, and only just recently moved back here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 471

You deserved it 383