Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2... - FML

By anonymous - 11/02/2012 05:57 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 982

You deserved it 5 641

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Same thing different taste

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 813

You deserved it 5 298

Bragging

By lastalittlelonger - 05/12/2009 09:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 721

You deserved it 3 171

By user210 - 26/03/2012 03:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 087

You deserved it 4 083

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 847

You deserved it 6 146

Great timing

By letdown - 19/07/2020 14:01

Spicy

Today, I finally had sex with a coworker I’d been flirting with for nearly 2 and half years. The sex lasted less than 2 and a half minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596

You deserved it 719

By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 953

You deserved it 3 070

By Sooz - 03/10/2013 01:18 - Canada - Abbotsford

Spicy

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 415

You deserved it 5 843

Poor performance

By Anonymous - 28/12/2022 03:00

Spicy

Today, I finally had sex with my husband and orgasmed. Three hours apart from each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 318

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 1 778

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 800

You deserved it 4 726

Next

Top comments

Cavebone 5

Saturday 11 February 2012 12:07

that's a solid 50% improvement.

DalPozzo13 10

Saturday 11 February 2012 12:06

That's sad, my dog has gotten it on with a pillow longer than that haha

Comments

BarDownDaily 12

Sunday 12 February 2012 0:49

Da **** are you talking about. You're stupid.

bizarre_ftw 21

Sunday 12 February 2012 1:23

At least he's trying :/

causticgirl 6

Sunday 12 February 2012 1:35

More sex more often. Double up on condom to decrease sensitivity. FOREPLAY. get yours before insertion. Buy toys if necessary

itooamscrewed 10

Sunday 12 February 2012 2:08

Wow the other girls on this page are brutal. I had a boyfriend like this and the solution is to have sex a LOT, at least twice a day. Eventually he will get used to the feel and last as long as you'd like. Or the second time around will be longer. Either way, you both win. For the record, belittling him for it is going to make everything worse, for you and for his next girlfriend (because if you're bitchy enough to laugh at him for it, you don't deserve the guy).

thamack408 11

Sunday 12 February 2012 2:29

honest,quit being a bitch because hes trying his best to improve on how long he wants to last and you are just belittling him. just **** around once or twice a day. also he should ********** before each session so he can get the "quickie" out of the way

donhate38 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 4:04

Come to me;)

Petey_Piie 1

Sunday 12 February 2012 4:37

Still longer than Kim Kardashian's marriage.

stereoheartss 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 4:43

Wow....Very classy!

l_like_food 6

Sunday 12 February 2012 4:49

at least he is trying but i agree that is pretty short having a lot of sex could help try to masteerbate it can loosen you up and it might make him last longer or take it nice and slow what me and my boyfriend do is during sex we constantly change positions we each choose a few he used to be like that but through doing what i stated before hes up to almost an hour!

Gutmann 0

Sunday 12 February 2012 5:28

Lame!! Haha he needs some more practice

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Keywords

Surprise Love Cute My ex Texting Awkward Wanker Intimacy Sex Mental health Health Insomnia Sleep Food Cooking Kids Parents Weekend Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Work Embarrassing Technology Zoom Coworkers Argument Roommate Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, my husband wants a divorce and will be moving out as soon as possible because he can’t stand my mother anymore. He's tired of pushing me to stand up to her, even once, so he's done and is leaving. I’m upset he’s leaving, but I’m equally as upset he’s leaving me alone with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 1 696

Today, my husband is going on his fifth consecutive day without a shower. He’s been working 16-hour shifts, and though I'm empathetic to his exhaustion, his foul body odor has overtaken the bedroom, and his excretions have discolored his side of the bed. I fear the worst. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 310

You deserved it 396

The Top

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 087

You deserved it 17 548

Today, I was stuck in the ICU with my 10 month-old. They spent more than an hour and multiple pricks to get a vein for cannula. I had to endure and hold him down through all of it. Half and hour later, he promptly smeared poop all over his cannula bandage area during a diaper change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 145

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 779

You deserved it 3 343

Today, my boss called me to say that I've been slow at work this week and that I will be replaced if I don't pick up the pace. That would be understandable, if I didn't have a broken ankle and pneumonia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 139

You deserved it 1 627

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 197

You deserved it 6 636

Today, in an attempt to break up with my boyfriend, I told him, "I don't feel a mental connection between us." His reply? "Why do we need a mental connection?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 383

You deserved it 10 371