Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie....

By oumalina - 12/08/2010 01:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 069

You deserved it 8 421

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By elisimo - 24/01/2012 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 564

You deserved it 35 861

By Anonymous - 10/02/2012 05:31 - United States

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 975

You deserved it 7 285

Denied!

By Hystcheria - 25/07/2021 02:01 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I told my long-distance boyfriend that I'd like to throw my legs over my head and have him cram his dick deep inside me. He told me to order a pizza, "It'd be more fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 228

You deserved it 218

By Anonymous - 22/04/2013 20:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 036

You deserved it 8 452

By fatgirl - 16/05/2010 04:08 - United States

Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 009

You deserved it 10 732

Break time

By Samantha K - 19/10/2020 20:08

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he stopped and got dressed. Naked and confused, I figured he’d be right back. Yeah, 20 minutes later with a plate of food for himself. So much for sex. It would've been nice if he told me though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 608

You deserved it 207

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 363

You deserved it 7 467

Romantic afterglow

By easyontheeyes1 - 01/05/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 490

Hard to believe

By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 18:00

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 375

You deserved it 579

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 569

You deserved it 5 722

_streets_ 19

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:19

haha isn't that the rule for swimming or something

Raleigh_bruh 7

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:23

The real Fml here is that you two made out after eating pizza.. Not a very appetizing taste you want in your mouth mixed with someone else's saliva. :/

Comments

roxy999_fml 0

Friday 13 August 2010 0:40

hahaha poor guy maybe he is freaking out of having sex

ChinnuWoW 0

Friday 13 August 2010 1:14

this isn't an fml. you can have sex with him after 30min.

BikerMike 0

Friday 13 August 2010 3:19

Is the pizza better than your pussy?

99chevyz71 0

Friday 13 August 2010 4:11

whats his problem!! if that were me i would go to town on my gf. lol

thatrandombadass 0

Friday 13 August 2010 4:12

well maybe he is right. You shoulf listen to the man.

scooter69 0

Friday 13 August 2010 4:28

mood killer!! disappointing.....

soccer_chickk 0

Friday 13 August 2010 5:52

once he saw what you were givin he said helll no!

PushMyButtons 5

Friday 13 August 2010 5:52

Hahaha this is the first fml that I have laughed at in awhile.

Darth_Taco 14

Friday 13 August 2010 6:21

Oh God, he's so right. I've had sex right after eating. My boyfriend and I almost ended up throwing up at the same time. Thank God we held it in because the toilet wasn't working that day @_@.