Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie....

By oumalina - 12/08/2010 01:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 069

You deserved it 8 421

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Same thing different taste

By elisimo - 24/01/2012 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 564

You deserved it 35 861

By Anonymous - 10/02/2012 05:31 - United States

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 975

You deserved it 7 285

Denied!

By Hystcheria - 25/07/2021 02:01 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I told my long-distance boyfriend that I'd like to throw my legs over my head and have him cram his dick deep inside me. He told me to order a pizza, "It'd be more fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 228

You deserved it 218

By Anonymous - 22/04/2013 20:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 036

You deserved it 8 452

By fatgirl - 16/05/2010 04:08 - United States

Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 009

You deserved it 10 732

Break time

By Samantha K - 19/10/2020 20:08

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he stopped and got dressed. Naked and confused, I figured he’d be right back. Yeah, 20 minutes later with a plate of food for himself. So much for sex. It would've been nice if he told me though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 608

You deserved it 207

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 363

You deserved it 7 467

Romantic afterglow

By easyontheeyes1 - 01/05/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 490

Hard to believe

By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 18:00

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 375

You deserved it 579

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 569

You deserved it 5 722

_streets_ 19

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:19

haha isn't that the rule for swimming or something

Raleigh_bruh 7

Thursday 12 August 2010 9:23

The real Fml here is that you two made out after eating pizza.. Not a very appetizing taste you want in your mouth mixed with someone else's saliva. :/

Comments

motor_butt 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 12:25

omg. hahahhaha. I was thinking Sausage pizza instantly after I read the first line. ;) heh.

dom9228 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 12:35

wow haha his loss?

biagginoUSA 5

Thursday 12 August 2010 12:57

DAMM FYL LOL NEXT TIME HE WANTS IT TELL HIM IT'S THE RIME OF THE MONTH LOL OR SOMETHING ELSE IDC

yuhimjesus 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 13:54

do you like to fist pump?

dodgewama 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 13:45

BAHAHAHAHA EPIC FAIL

BrandiG 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 13:55

ur boyfriend must not have wanted it bad enough.

jnjones04 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 14:10

pizza won't turn u down....

funnieguy89 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 14:16

i agree with 24. only thing is we might not finish before the pizza got there... ;)

roflinyourwaffle 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 16:42

i'm pretty sure you can finish before the pizza arrives, seeing as how you're most likely referring to you and your right hand; i know of no pizza place that finishes delivery under 3 minutes.