Health: Today, my boyfriend and I went on a picnic. After we finished...

By wtf1234 - 03/05/2011 01:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a picnic. After we finished eating he laid down, closed his eyes, and put his head in my lap. At the exact second that I bent down to kiss him, he jumped up to get the Frisbee. We both have bloody noses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 874

You deserved it 4 395

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By baconbreath=| - 13/11/2010 05:12 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I had a picnic on the beach. It was so romantic and perfect. He leant forward to kiss me. Once we had kissed he said, "We haven't even started eating yet", and passed me a mint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 087

You deserved it 9 630

By Maria - 14/03/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 663

You deserved it 404

By Anonymous - 04/10/2009 21:40 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 695

You deserved it 48 847

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 18:06 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 623

You deserved it 4 102

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 001

You deserved it 4 478

By goo - 10/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 666

You deserved it 1 129

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 00:01

Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 99

I'm just saying…

By dirty boy - 05/07/2021 11:00

Today, what started as an amazing day with hiking, a picnic, more hiking, then a romantic nature walk, ended in a ridiculous screaming match between me and my boyfriend. I only asked him to shower before laying in our bed when we got home, since we were covered in sweat, bug bites and dirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 129

Language of love

By TheGirl - 23/11/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 386

You deserved it 3 951

By dinosaur - 10/01/2011 10:35 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 221

You deserved it 3 210

ambowew 7

Tuesday 3 May 2011 9:12

Your boyfriend sounds like an overenthusiastic dog. Flying up to chase a frisbee, honestly.

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Tuesday 3 May 2011 9:09

That's disc-gusting.

Comments

mack_the_knife 3

Tuesday 3 May 2011 12:22

Sounds a bit like you're dating a labrador retriever

Riddles66 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 12:45

I guess he don't like your kisses

dylpikle 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 12:48

atleast it was almost totally romantic. lmao

CitrusGirl 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 13:38

OP: "Oh honey I love-" BF: "FRISBEE!" WAPAM! OP: "$&@#%*#!!!"

christyxoxo 8

Tuesday 3 May 2011 13:56

sounds like a scene in a romantic comedy.

katieeamberr 2

Tuesday 3 May 2011 23:38

love ur pic lmao

cptmorgan15 2

Tuesday 3 May 2011 14:00

Human-dog relationships never work, OP. Believe me, I've tried.

HeavyMetalViking 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 16:57

Your ex must have been a bitch huh.

jasminea 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 15:16

haha (: sucks for you!

jenaandtyler4eva 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 16:25

just laugh about it and get over it

rebecca_marie_21 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 17:18

Are you dating a dig? Lol just kidding ;)

rebecca_marie_21 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 17:19

dog

ceeejjjj 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 21:21

now thats love hahaha your blood partners now

Keywords

Love Party Awkward Lonely ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Covid Health Kids Annoying Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 826

You deserved it 54 997

Today, I found out from a cousin why my older aunts treated me so differently when we were growing up. Apparently, my mom told them that when I was 14, I wanted to use tampons instead of pads. According to their backward, archaic logic, that meant I was sexually active. No wonder they hated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 104

The Top

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted, "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 755

You deserved it 15 039

Today, I searched myself on Facebook. I have a fan page made by some girl in Wisconsin. She has pictures of me on it. Can you say stalker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 199

You deserved it 5 039

Today, I went to the place I signed for yesterday to pay the first month's rent and get my keys. I looked around before I left, and used the toilet. I went back later to show my boyfriend and found the place flooded an inch with water coming from the toilet. It had been flooding for 7 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 120

You deserved it 4 739

Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 142

You deserved it 5 339

Today, I was at a job interview which seemed to be going well until the guy saw on my CV that I prefer they/them pronouns. Now, I’m not pushy about it, but he instantly lost interest and kept checking his phone to make sure he gave me my full 15 minutes; at minute 16 I was out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 1 169

Today, after a 6 month dry spell, my husband was yet again “too tired” to have sex. I guess I finally found something I miss about my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 452

You deserved it 454