By hahaohyeahwow - 24/09/2014 04:24 - United States - Dearborn

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 299
You deserved it 5 214

hahaohyeahwow tells us more.

hahaohyeahwow 4

He said he had to poop (lmfao) and did it in there. Also, he cannot do it twice in a night. He literally just passes out. Ha.

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Top comments

onealmxwilson 18

Am I the only one wondering how long he was in the bathroom?

460 6

Comments

DanielleinDC 33

If fumbling to get "ready" causes him to come, he's got to have the most sensitive dick in the universe. Besides, someone should tell him that there's nothing wrong with having your partner there to help you get "ready".

10 1
hahaohyeahwow 4

He said he had to poop (lmfao) and did it in there. Also, he cannot do it twice in a night. He literally just passes out. Ha.

72 1
strike2867 13

I think he might need to see a doctor, this seems pretty off, how old is he?

98 4
urlit 13

Oh wow. Yea, that really sucks for you then. Even worse so that it sounds like it didn't take him long at all in there.

45 0
libertina 3

That's just lazy and selfish. Ask him to attempt to use his imagination with you too. I am assuming he isn't 100 years old, a little effort please! Jeez.

25 90
allplayedout 20

He doesn't have to be "ready" for all the things he could do for you...I'm hoping he started doing those after he handled himself...

42 1
Shade1982 20

@74: You do realise there may be a medical issue here? You seem a tad judgmental for something you know nothing about.

29 8
Nyx7 24

A tad judgmental? na.. seems like an uptight asshole

25 5
wreckdit 29

Is it judgemental to think he should get her off if he just did himself in the bathroom while she was waiting? If he can only go once a day, which I'll admit, would warrant some concern, he should use it to pleasure them both.

2 0
hahaohyeahwow 4

Idk why it changed the word to fumbling.. I put the correct word. He "pleasured" himself

0 0
likice93 7

Why don't you try getting him ready next time

8 26
HeavyWeaponsGuy 21

because he excused himself to take a shit

0 0
knoelani 13

Why wouldn't he just "get ready" with you?

23 2
urlit 13

First one is always the quick one! Makes for a lasting round two~

11 2
mitchman9515 1

would have been so funny if one person had commented "You Deserved It"

3 18
MarkEternal02 19

Oh 58. If only you hadn't capitalized the D on deserved. Could have possibly been up voted for a potentially witty comment. In my opinion only, OP does deserve It. If only It is sex. I guess this is one FML where OP couldn't "get it", to borrow a sexist demeaning phrase.

5 1