Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no"...

By omgwhyme - 08/01/2012 14:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 422

You deserved it 49 348

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Same thing different taste

By besviken - 18/11/2012 22:53 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 456

You deserved it 6 328

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 960

You deserved it 14 588

Double standard

By NoSexForMe - 13/07/2014 07:46 - United States - Rancho Cucamonga

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 813

You deserved it 8 659

So generous

By noway - 10/08/2011 17:47 - Singapore

Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 164

You deserved it 7 104

Wrong sort of poking

By Anonymous - 22/09/2013 05:40 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 193

You deserved it 9 739

Enticing

By Anonymous - 20/06/2014 21:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 288

You deserved it 9 634

Frustrated wank

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 304

Sexy talk

By suckstosuck - 23/07/2013 04:04 - United States - Dana Point

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 760

You deserved it 13 690

By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 026

You deserved it 4 681

No nut will do that

By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 00:00

Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 1 338

WCARlover 34

Sunday 8 January 2012 19:53

Apparently she didn't feel like doing it you selfish ********...girls don't always have to want penis in their mouth

The_Plagiarizer 4

Sunday 8 January 2012 20:38

Buy a ***** and slap him back.

Comments

cidman420 5

Sunday 8 January 2012 22:35

if u don't do it I'm sure he can find someone who will

Horcruxer 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 22:36

And confirms more women on fml.

charwars 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 22:37

That guy doesnt deserve to be called your boyfriend

maxsonje 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 22:39

Should if just said yes

WhiteRangerKid 5

Sunday 8 January 2012 22:43

What a dick (no pun intended)

ganjaone 2

Sunday 8 January 2012 22:43

If u don't please him, he'll find someone who will. Remember that....

Awsumuzzie 12

Sunday 8 January 2012 23:01

If you don't respect her, she'll find someone who will. Remember that....

dragynfyre 4

Monday 9 January 2012 0:01

she's better off if he does.

Ressamies 6

Sunday 8 January 2012 22:45

What an asshole.

luvlysc 2

Sunday 8 January 2012 22:46

Dump him. After you junk punch him.

loller27 6

Sunday 8 January 2012 22:47

dude that blows

HaloOfTheSun302 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 22:48

Because boys are icky

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USA, USA, USA, and more precisely Philadelphia. That's where we're landing today. When I first discovered Justin, on 9gag or an awesome website like that, I knew exactly this little guy was perfect to fit in the FML illustrated section. His crazy, c...

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 8

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

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Today, after nearly two months of working at my new job, one of my co-workers finally explained to me that the list of tasks that our boss gives me every day are actually HER duties, and as I complete them, she just sits in her office and watches Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 704

You deserved it 2 318

Today, I replied to a party invite. I thought I was only replying to the hostess, who's a close friend, so added a P. S. about a recent sex toy purchase I'd made and how rubbish it had been. I only realised after pressing "Send" that I'd selected "Reply All". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 428

You deserved it 41 450

Today, I fell and impaled my leg on a steel rod at work. The first guy to respond to my agonised cry for help must’ve been a total moron because he thought it was a prank and yanked on the rod to see how it worked. Then he asked if I did it on purpose to get a day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 834

You deserved it 225

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I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 365

Today, I decided to be healthy and go for a run. I broke my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 393

You deserved it 4 104