just tell him the truth. not that he's shitty at it, but tht he needs to be more gentle. tell him when you dont like something. guys are great like that-- they want to learn how to be masters at it. communication is key.

Have you tried suggesting things like 'could you maybe try it a little slower/calmer/more gentle/teasing/word of your choice?' and then reinforce that you like it so much more when he does it like that? You don't have to be blunt, just ask if he could try it a different way because you think it might turn you on more - if you phrase it as 'I'd like to try it like this because I think I'd like it' not 'you're bad at this, do it differently', he'll probably be happy to try! :P

I think demonstrating for him can be a great idea. With your hand on yourself, or with your tongue on some part of his body.

No! Don't do it while watching 'movies' he'll take that as he's doing it right...have you ever watched those?! My god, it makes me hurt just thinking about how savage they are in pornos lol

I would have to say that dropping hints wasn't the best idea, don't beat around the bush. Hopefully you'll be able to talk to him about it soon and he doesn't take it too hard. Just try and find the right words to express how you like things.

65 - Don't know why you're voted down. Excellent suggestion. Demonstrating on him (say, nipples) will let him FEEL the speed and intensity you want to feel.

OP, I completely understand why you're afraid to hurt his feelings. I've been in that situation before, and guys can be SO insecure about that kind of thing... But in the end, honesty is always the best policy. Say what you mean, what you feel. Be firm, but not mean. He'll appreciate it in the long run :)

Don't know why I got thumbed down....if anyone has really watched a lot of **** you would see they don't necessarily 'take it easy' on anyone.

I'd recommend saying that everyone is different - you don't need to tell him that he's bad at oral. You just need to tell him what you personally like and dislike. No feelings harmed! Of course, once he has learnt, he'll likely understand that he was poor at it before. But by then no feelings will be hurt either, because he'll have the confidence of knowing that he's good at it *now*.

If you are in to it, do a little light dom/sub thing. Where he can pleasure you, but only how YOU tell him to.

Don't let the pity keep you from being honest. It keeps people from learning. It's what we do to children and they don't end up too well when we do that. You shouldn't be treating a grown person that way. Just say it (delicately and respectfully) and teach him. It'll serve better.

I know you don't want to hurt his feelings but it's your sex life too. You have a say if something makes you uncomfortable.

It's best to speak the truth and tell him. I tell my other half when he does things right and wrong and he does the same :) good luck op

I'm kind of in the same boat. I've only had one guy give me oral- my boyfriend of 18 months. I don't enjoy it when he does, but I haven't been very direct in saying so. But he is aware I am weird about germs (more specifically saliva and tongues), so I use that as a reason to avoid oral. Good luck though! Try giving him tips.

Add fetch and he'll be damn near perfect ;)