Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi,... - FML

By Lisa - 02/01/2010 07:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 836

You deserved it 35 980

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 584

You deserved it 47 207

By crazyt446 - 11/07/2009 15:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 469

You deserved it 71 651

By Loho - 25/03/2009 02:46 - Canada

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 892

You deserved it 104 991

Nope out of there

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 413

You deserved it 23 270

You have the same voice!

By EternalBlossom - 14/07/2015 05:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 520

You deserved it 24 078

Ahem

By Bucko321 - 30/03/2009 01:18 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 722

You deserved it 78 312

Pull up

By ohdeargodthatswrong - 09/01/2010 13:25 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 474

You deserved it 6 198

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 535

You deserved it 48 711

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 14:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 281

You deserved it 44 097

By ohgod... - 02/04/2012 02:18 - Canada - Magog

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 185

You deserved it 3 431

Next

Top comments

Cartain 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 16:20

I think this is very much your fathers FML.

youdidwhatnow 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 16:06

FYL... dumbass

Comments

stupiddumbblonde 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 16:59

Fail.

razorp 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 17:04

well Lisa, that's ****** up. if you where my daughter I would disown you

DeadPixel4 29

Wednesday 9 April 2014 4:31

Wtf? Why? Because she has sex with her boyfriend? Are you kidding me?

hbkkbh6h8 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 17:04

fail

VinnieCorozzo 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 17:09

well damn I wish you were my girlfriend

smorales991 0

Saturday 21 August 2010 4:49

i second that lol

manzylittle3759 6

Tuesday 5 June 2012 14:25

I third that

redshortsx 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 17:37

I would run away

CallMeHush 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 17:41

Well??? Did he?

jamjenni2774 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 17:48

So know daddy knows that his girl is really a kinky, sex crazed, chick.. OH NO

somethingnew319 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 17:51

fail

weezybaby22 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 17:56

what did he do

jonny2x4 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 18:05

Uh oh. Daddy's little girl is now a slore.

Ajorioles 0

Tuesday 4 May 2010 0:43

Johnny & Plank WOOT!

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Today, after years of lobbying for a travel job, I'm finally in Africa. Everything I eat or drink comes violently back out both directions. When I don't eat or drink, I pass out. Essentially I have to choose between illness and consciousness. Hello, fabulous new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 249

You deserved it 6 923

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 12

The Top

Today, I received a birthday card from my dad, over a week late. It was addressed to me using my maiden name, the enclosed check also made out to me using my maiden name. I've been married for over 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 231

You deserved it 1 556

Today, my mom came in to hug me while I was sleeping, or so I thought. I woke up and tried to hug her back, only to find she had wrapped a tape measure around me. She was trying to measure my bust size to win a bet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 857

You deserved it 372

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 333

You deserved it 3 879

Today, I was promoted. I got advice throughout the day from all of management on what I'm supposed to do first thing everyday. Not one was the same as the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 311

You deserved it 503

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to guys hitting on me are the ones who ask to be my friend on Call of Duty because I have the word "girl" in my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 377

You deserved it 6 937

Today, I found out my roommate spits the mouthwash back into the bottle after he gargles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 080

You deserved it 2 674