Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi,... - FML

By Lisa - 02/01/2010 07:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 836

You deserved it 35 980

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 584

You deserved it 47 207

By crazyt446 - 11/07/2009 15:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 469

You deserved it 71 651

By Loho - 25/03/2009 02:46 - Canada

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 892

You deserved it 104 991

Nope out of there

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 413

You deserved it 23 270

You have the same voice!

By EternalBlossom - 14/07/2015 05:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 520

You deserved it 24 078

Ahem

By Bucko321 - 30/03/2009 01:18 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 722

You deserved it 78 312

Pull up

By ohdeargodthatswrong - 09/01/2010 13:25 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 474

You deserved it 6 198

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 535

You deserved it 48 711

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 14:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 281

You deserved it 44 097

By ohgod... - 02/04/2012 02:18 - Canada - Magog

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 185

You deserved it 3 431

Next

Top comments

Cartain 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 16:20

I think this is very much your fathers FML.

youdidwhatnow 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 16:06

FYL... dumbass

Comments

zannysmiles 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 10:28

I don't understand why you would say something like that in the first place! you definitely deserved it.

heypeoplezzz 0

Friday 12 March 2010 20:22

I don't think you deserved it because you saw it was your boyfriends phone. Lesson well learnt :)

tayajayne 0

Thursday 8 April 2010 12:58

you have a discusting vocabulary, that's really unattractive and not a turn on to hear. get some class!

mollyjynxjax 28

Tuesday 11 June 2013 15:05

First of all, the word you were trying to use to describe her vocabulary is *disgusting*. Second of all, it is her business how she talks to her boyfriend. Most people find talking dirty to be a turn on

youngcat24 0

Tuesday 29 June 2010 20:15

3 are you stupid... lol im sorry but your comment made me laugh. read better next time.

alex9420_fml 0

Monday 26 July 2010 17:39

LOOOOLL !!!!

Bivbit 3

Friday 13 August 2010 20:15

Ydi for not making sure in the first place.. :S

BonJovi821 3

Tuesday 5 October 2010 1:24

You are TEARING ME APART, LISA!

Paramorefan2 1

Monday 11 October 2010 5:00

how ****** desperate are you?

Im_An_FML_User 0

Monday 28 February 2011 4:32

My name's Lisa. You've disgraced my name.

SimpleGr33n 4

Thursday 3 March 2011 8:33

now he knows your just like your mom

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The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 59

Today, I was taking a relaxing soak in the tub with my essential oils, when my husband walked in and proceeded to take the most foul-smelling dump ever. The toilet is right next to the bathtub, so my essential oils didn’t stand a chance. Besides that, our house has four other bathrooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 165

The Top

Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 736

You deserved it 5 759

Today, my co-worker offered me sweets, then chocolate and then biscuits. Repeatedly. She knows I'm trying to diet for my wedding. She does this every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 473

You deserved it 454

Today, I had a school band concert in which I was doing a clarinet solo. I had a Laffy Taffy before the concert. Little did I know part of the wrapper got stuck in my hair. I went through the whole concert like that and I was so embarrassed when I found out afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 289

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 042

You deserved it 7 731

Today, while in the waiting room at the chiropractor's office, I thought I'd be sexy and flash my boyfriend. Forgetting that my iPhone was in the front pocket of my hoodie, I lifted it quickly and hit myself in the mouth. Now I have a fat bloody lip and a boyfriend who can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 763

You deserved it 47 089

Today, I was so tired, I passed out at work in the middle of a call. All because my neighbor's car alarm kept going off every 3 minutes all through the morning. It was still going when I left for work. If you see a news story in a few days about a whole neighborhood beating a guy to death, that's probably us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 416

You deserved it 1 328