Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because...

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By Anonymous - 24/03/2009 10:41 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 955

You deserved it 9 594

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Same thing different taste

Not now!

By XxDiabolikalXx - 24/08/2010 07:30 - France

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 824

You deserved it 4 330

By quit fucking up my life - 23/11/2013 01:08 - United States - Kenai

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 660

You deserved it 4 925

By perfectman - 12/06/2012 10:34 - Australia - Sydney

Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "Fuck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 311

You deserved it 8 391

Love and threats

By soontobedumped - 15/01/2012 19:26 - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 891

You deserved it 4 885

By coffee_princess - 22/07/2010 23:14 - Canada

Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 951

You deserved it 4 467

Good question

By epictothemax - 10/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue stud and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin said, "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 126

You deserved it 13 207

Meet the family

By OhMeGerd - 05/10/2012 14:56 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 481

You deserved it 29 028

By notsoclean - 24/12/2010 21:14 - United States

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 493

You deserved it 3 698

Will you…

By why - 17/08/2013 14:18 - United States - Lexington

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 563

You deserved it 7 395

By moonstone15 - 06/08/2011 00:24 - United States

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 225

You deserved it 4 249

tehhotness 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 20:11

Your grandpa rules

McZeal 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 20:24

grandpa's a pimp

Comments

iBou_fml 4

Saturday 28 March 2009 22:15

LOL ur grandpa is same as Bart's Simpson grandpa :D i love him :D

xxbizzaroxx 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 7:57

davidlonghorn 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 4:53

your gpa is a freggin pimp!! ur dad had to smile at that...

unsay_moon 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 4:59

i love how the dad, the bf and you have all posted. thats pretty amazing your grandpa is the SEX!

coloradobound 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 7:01

haha damn your grandpa is awesome.

blowup_dollie 0

Friday 3 April 2009 3:47

LMFAO. Grandpa FTW!

DrakeRlugia 0

Friday 3 April 2009 12:17

Oh god. Still, what's not to love about a grandpa who says inappropriate things.

Kalixia 0

Friday 3 April 2009 13:58

lol Sorry to laugh but this is hilarious. This is also where you try to keep all serious and say something like "Grandpa, we aren't like that" Try to show your father how mature you are and he won't have any reason to worry. (Even if you two are getting the naughty on once he heals)