Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the...

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By syl - 11/02/2010 06:18 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 329

You deserved it 5 231

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Same thing different taste

By BDSM4Jesus - 20/01/2015 04:42 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 164

You deserved it 4 559

By WWJD - 01/03/2017 12:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 340

You deserved it 1 603

Weird flex, but OK

By mrwilly - 02/01/2015 03:22 - United States - Corona

Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 896

You deserved it 4 904

By FlyingFist - 04/12/2012 00:38 - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 146

You deserved it 3 454

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 372

You deserved it 4 925

By INside - 02/08/2011 04:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 074

You deserved it 10 739

By anon - 18/01/2012 18:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 586

You deserved it 5 610

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 348

You deserved it 10 521

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 797

You deserved it 4 449

By O_O - 12/07/2013 20:15 - United States - Columbus

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 651

You deserved it 5 827

elodea_fml 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 12:14

... he seems cool o_O

quelbaby 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 12:14

hahaha that sounds like something my bf would say as a joke lol.. I hope u took it lightly and mucked around with him bak lol

Comments

olw25 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 19:28

he has no respect for the LORD! hope he doesn't burn n hell.

Laurendorcus 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 19:40

Tell him youre Jewish, kick him in the crotch, then leave. :-)

kristidgranger 3

Thursday 11 February 2010 20:44

that's horrible. I would dump my BF if he just threw Jesus' name around like it was nothing and named his penis that!!! Truly horrible!!!

BStinson_fml 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 20:50

hopefully you nailed his Jesus like the real one?

BStinson_fml 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 20:53

when you are done, and he has "completed", does Jesus ever rise from the dead for a second round?

buttafly414 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 21:11

you and your bf are going straight to HELL

510lobita510 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 21:20

that is hilarious as hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dorito_420 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 21:24

A little sacraligious (sp?) but funny as ****. Just to mess with him you should've said you're an Atheist and don't believe in Jesus.

walkerellis 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 21:24

let Jesus spread his warmth!

blackchick 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 21:25

aww I wish I had a funny boyfriend :( lol

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Same thing different taste

Weird flex, but OK

Repetition

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