Love: Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with...

By pubemilkshake - 08/12/2014 02:12 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 838

You deserved it 4 916

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By FawnPrincess - 17/11/2017 15:00

Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 229

You deserved it 449

Not a biology major

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 04:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend ate glitter. When I asked him why he would do such an insane thing, he replied, "I wanted my jizz to sparkle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 675

You deserved it 281

Kitchen nightmare

By Anonymous - 15/05/2020 14:00

Today, I made my boyfriend a vanilla cake for our anniversary. We sat down to eat it and one bite in, my boyfriend gets a weird look on his face. I take a bite and notice that it tastes like corn. I found out later my dad had replaced all the flour with cornmeal without telling anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 753

You deserved it 442

Great boyfriend, part 2

By thanks a lot - 04/05/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 924

You deserved it 224

By Anonymous - 20/09/2009 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 080

You deserved it 6 598

Jammed

By me - 05/01/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 453

You deserved it 3 757

By HaleyIsabelle - 08/03/2010 20:54 - France

Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 457

You deserved it 3 712

By poopcoloredeyes - 31/10/2011 20:06 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 205

You deserved it 3 692

New one

By Anonymous - 07/02/2020 12:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I closed my eyes while my boyfriend was fingering me, and I felt a cold liquid inside me. I opened my eyes, and he was pouring yogurt into me. He said “I wanted to try something new.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 447

You deserved it 460

By Sybille - 06/12/2008 12:14 - France

Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 514

You deserved it 4 063

NeoMatrix25 12

Monday 8 December 2014 9:03

Girls milkshakes may bring all the boys to the yard, but his milkshake will bring her nausea and nightmares

3051628 24

Monday 8 December 2014 9:03

That's completely filthy and uncalled for, I'm sorry you were tricked into all of that. Hopefully you can have a discussion with him and make sure something like that doesn't happen again OP.

Comments

angelofsaturn 23

Monday 6 April 2015 0:08

Yea you need to make a pie for him. I think a chocolate one would suffice. (Watch "The Help" just in case you don't get the reference) If you already dumped him say that you had a change of heart and that you'd like to try to be friends. Lull him into a false sense of security.

silentxninja 13

Sunday 3 May 2015 4:47

That's so incredibly disgusting.... I am so sorry, OP.

magickiss87 22

Thursday 14 May 2015 13:56

I'd have slapped him and ended the relationship. That's fked up!

chocolateyum 5

Friday 12 February 2016 22:50

I think I'm going to vomit

animechan 15

Tuesday 11 October 2016 14:45

That is ******* disgusting

stephh_1 11

Saturday 8 July 2017 12:46

Eww super gross.why did he do that?!?

InfiniteSecret 20

Monday 27 November 2017 0:06

I would honestly end it with them. Yes that is extreme and drastic but someone who lies that easily and makes you drink something you shouldn't drink isn't someone that respects you and who knows what they would do next