By confusedbutloved - 08/07/2012 12:42 - United States - North Easton

Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML
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Top comments

supahcoolperson 0

Well its kinda crazy that he didn't tell you sooner or you didn't find out, but how old are you guys? That's a really big factor!

287 10
kodinbug 2

Ya, he should have told you that he had a mini me a long time ago... Honestly if he didn't tell you that he had a son, what else is he not telling you. Red flag.

165 11

Comments

lelo007 11

Typically, yes, most people would tell you on the first or second date about children; But is there more of a background? Yes, he has a picture, but is he actually allowed to see his son? Most men who get visitation have it every other weekend.. So in 7 months, you didn't wonder why he wasn't interested in hanging out with you every other weekend? There is probably more to his story than OP took the time to find out. But don't just kick him to the curb right away, take the time to talk it out and take his reasoning (if a good one) into consideration.

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apocalyptica_fml 9

He probably didnt tell OP out of either nervousness of what she would think after, if she would end up judging him, dumping him or for his son's protection. There are many logical reasons why someone wouldn't say they had a child until they are comfortable enough to say something.

5 4
olpally 32

He should have told you that he had a son... The trust must be established early on with no secrets or hiding things such as this... Huge red flag right here... Talk about it with him, see what's up with that.. Who knows what else he's hiding from you. :/

10 1
latimania13 1

Should've mention that 7 months ago lol

5 7
KiddNYC1O 20

It's a deal breaker a lot of times.

8 0
Enslaved 36

But wouldn't you rather know that having a child from a previous relationship is a deal breaker earlier on?

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KiddNYC1O 20

Some people just don't like to reveal that early on. If the relationship is built strong enough, it shouldn't be a huge factor when brought to light. My train of thought is derailing so feel free to counter this or prove me wrong.

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Enslaved 36

No, I understand where you're coming from. (: I wouldn't think the seven months is early on though. I know some guys that refuse to date a lady with children and also know ladies that don't want to deal with other baby momma drama but I have to ask, how can a relationship be built strong enough when I huge important factor is missing?

3 1
KiddNYC1O 20

It just can! =P

0 4
EMTchic 14

Has anyone thought that maybe the son died very young or was adopted out and that's why she hadn't met him, it would also make sense because then the reason she didn't find out about him until she saw a picture was because maybe it was too painful to talk about for him or maybe he just wanted that part of his life to stay in the past.

15 0
CptZoe 10

Thank you for being a person of reason. Not right away pretending to know the details. Faith in humanity restored... To an extent.

0 2
Blake3815 0

wow, that's a very good point I have not thought of. I feel like an ass now for thinking of him as a guy hiding something. I guess sometimes I jump to conclusions way too fast

0 3
lelo007 11

I was wondering the same thing, myself. I believe there is more to the story than him hiding it "just because."

0 1
DegrassixDigimon 5

I don't know why people are freaking out, They could be like 25/30

0 5
cass85 8

People aren't freaking out because he happens to have a son, but the fact that he never thought to mention it in seven months of dating. It's a pretty big deal whatever a person's age whether or not they have custody and whilst it's understandable that he might be nervous about telling his childless girlfriend that he has a child of his own, it's no excuse; you NEED to tell people you are in a relationship these things. It isn't an option not to. Or, rather, it is but then don't be surprised when the other half gets upset or feels confused or betrayed when they inevitably find out - it's a big deal. Believe me. Of course I'm not saying that a person with a kid is a deal breaker, I'm saying you need to show your partner enough respect to tell them about this stuff. This isn't a month long relationship - it's seven months and whilst that is hardly 'long term' its still way past the appropriate time to be disclosing these things.

6 1
grannygruber 6

I don't see the big deal, he obviously doesn't have custody or she would have known 7m ago. Keep a level head when asking about his son. OP posted as a FML so maybe op has been very vocal about not liking/wanting kids and he was hoping she would change her mind. If he had a picture it's not like he was trying to hide the fact all together!

6 0
AzzieC 12

On the bright side he probably didnt tell u cuz u wud dump him which means he really likes you

5 2
cass85 8

Wow. 'He didn't tell you he has a son because he cares about you and doesn't want you to leave him'. I hope, for the sake of his son, he progresses past the mentality of a sixteen year old at some point. It's good to know a potential reliable shag is more important that acknowledging your child.

6 1
jesinuevo 3

He probably knew you would freak out, maybe that's why he didn't say. It's not a big deal he was probably scared to go through another failed relationship. It's not just hard for a woman with kids to find someone, its hard for a guy too. Plus how would you feel being the kid who met girl after girl, maybe he was protecting his child. Get over it!

1 4