Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting'... - FML

By dahs - 03/04/2011 11:27 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 608

You deserved it 15 234

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Same thing different taste

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 893

You deserved it 37 459

By Anonymous - 17/10/2010 05:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 969

You deserved it 8 827

By Sugao - 10/12/2008 07:48 - France

Spicy

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 079

You deserved it 7 638

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 445

You deserved it 6 707

Groucho

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 123

You deserved it 5 251

By Prinpette - 20/09/2011 21:20 - France

Spicy

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 355

You deserved it 40 479

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 393

You deserved it 5 766

Found it

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 20:01

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 437

By halloweed - 16/11/2011 05:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 423

You deserved it 7 604

Beauty standards

By Anonymous - 08/05/2023 03:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 689

You deserved it 527

Next

Top comments

cmfh88 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 19:46

pubes? gross...

SuperWasian 0

Monday 4 April 2011 0:03

Love how most people on here are disgusted with pubic hair. Not everyone likes to shave everything off. And jeez, it's natural. Calm down. And guys need to stop expecting every girl to shave everything. Keep watching your **** if you wanna see completely hairless girls.

Comments

a1mightymorpher 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 6:37

ur boyfriend did that.stupid ass he's a ****** noof

Sharpie_08 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 7:38

shave ur pussy! gross!! ydi *****!

4evermossin 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 8:17

if you didn't have pubes maybe he wouldn't avoid going down on you

4evermossin 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 8:25

pubes are gross in my opinion as well as others and foreskin depending on where your from can be normal or abnormal just to clear some things up

teddigrahamxD 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 8:44

this is soo gross! YUCK!!

spadesghost 1

Tuesday 5 April 2011 8:45

well, if you need a guy to be gentle and intimate, (which uh, yeah thats just stupid of him) i'll give it a go.

killface93 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 9:01

LMAO way is he? 6 yrs old

smileydancer92 2

Tuesday 5 April 2011 11:15

maybe op is a gay man?

dymedancer901 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 12:30

u still have pubes...? ummm yea #wax

exiledTexan 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 19:01

vroom,vroom!

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The Top

Today, I talked to a girl on the phone who had previously told me her last relationship "ended very badly." I said, "So let me guess, the jerk cheated on you?" She paused for a few moments and finally replied, "No, he died in a motorcycle accident." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 834

You deserved it 22 140

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 350

You deserved it 38 334

The Top

Today, my girlfriend is giving me the silent treatment and is making me sleep on the couch, all because I said I loved my best female friend. I meant loved like family. She still won’t hear me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 789

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed really nice. However, halfway through the date, he started talking about how he was a flat-earther, and believed that the moon landing was faked. Oh, and that birds aren't real. I had to endure another hour of his conspiracy theories before I could finally escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 142

Today, I told my husband that it makes me feel unattractive and undesirable that I’m the only one to ever initiate intimacy. Not just sex, but also basic affection like hugging and kissing. His response? "Oh." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 280

You deserved it 274

Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 469

You deserved it 3 835

Today, my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 587

You deserved it 3 036

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 038

You deserved it 3 738