Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting'... - FML

By dahs - 03/04/2011 11:27 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 608

You deserved it 15 234

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 892

You deserved it 37 459

By Anonymous - 17/10/2010 05:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 969

You deserved it 8 827

By Sugao - 10/12/2008 07:48 - France

Spicy

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 077

You deserved it 7 636

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 445

You deserved it 6 707

Groucho

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 123

You deserved it 5 251

By Prinpette - 20/09/2011 21:20 - France

Spicy

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 352

You deserved it 40 479

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 391

You deserved it 5 766

Found it

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 20:01

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 814

You deserved it 437

By halloweed - 16/11/2011 05:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 422

You deserved it 7 603

Beauty standards

By Anonymous - 08/05/2023 03:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 527

Next

Top comments

cmfh88 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 19:46

pubes? gross...

SuperWasian 0

Monday 4 April 2011 0:03

Love how most people on here are disgusted with pubic hair. Not everyone likes to shave everything off. And jeez, it's natural. Calm down. And guys need to stop expecting every girl to shave everything. Keep watching your **** if you wanna see completely hairless girls.

Comments

quadder 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 20:57

did he forget to put the choke on?

haleyburchett 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 21:00

thats what you get for not shaving you sicko

ShelbyyCakess 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 21:02

hahahahahahaha

Dennisse_47 17

Sunday 3 April 2011 21:08

Engine noises? Sounds like he's trying turn on a car, not a girl. You should grab his dick and pretend like your driving a stick shift

SirWrangler 5

Monday 4 April 2011 5:47

is there something wrong with that... :) lol

rockonmyfriend 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 22:25

hahahahaha. I would laugh if that happened. SHIFT FASTER. you obviously have never handled a stick before geez.

dabom392 4

Sunday 3 April 2011 21:09

y didnt u shave ur pubes?

jess6blondie9 2

Monday 4 April 2011 8:50

Maybe her boyfriend likes em hairy.

caaklove 0

Monday 4 April 2011 16:00

yea believe it or not, most of my guy friends, including my fiancé, find shaven women to remind them of little girls and therefore they prefer the pubes. although letting it get too long is very unattractive. it's a plus though when men like pubes because for those who haven't experienced it before, shaving sucks. it itches and hurts when it starts to grow back. and I hear waxing hurts pretty bad too...

XxXkAtiie97XxX 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 21:10

eww u need too go shave !!

metalchick226 10

Sunday 3 April 2011 21:14

Ydi shave next time!!!

tucansam555 3

Sunday 3 April 2011 21:16

shave bitch

TheWorldGreatest 8

Sunday 3 April 2011 21:23

shave yourself, you stupid , nasty ass .

kaitlyn3xo 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 21:29

ew shave

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 069

You deserved it 410

The Top

Today, it's been about 8 months since I moved into my studio flat. It was already furnished, there was no bed but a fancy bedseat from Ikea. I slept uncomfortably on it for months until I realised it pulls out to become a double bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 217

You deserved it 12 141

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 167

You deserved it 6 373

Today, nine hours into a ten-hour shift, I accidentally told a customer, "You're a problem!" instead of, "You're welcome!" or, "No problem!" She gave me a dirty look and hurried off before I could correct myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 533

You deserved it 265

Today, I have tried so many times to do romantic gestures for my girlfriend, but each time she tells me to stop being silly or to just act normal or to stop annoying her. I guess we’ll just sit on the sofa on our phones ignoring each other then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 122

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 324

You deserved it 7 252

Today, I went to a big job interview. Eventually, the guy subtly enquired about my political beliefs. He seemed pretty laid-back and cool, so I told him, at which point he just chuckled and told me to leave. When I threatened to report him, he just said, "Who're they gonna believe, you or me?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 763

You deserved it 8 240