Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting'... - FML

By dahs - 03/04/2011 11:27 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 608

You deserved it 15 234

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Same thing different taste

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 892

You deserved it 37 459

By Anonymous - 17/10/2010 05:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 969

You deserved it 8 827

By Sugao - 10/12/2008 07:48 - France

Spicy

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 077

You deserved it 7 636

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 445

You deserved it 6 707

Groucho

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 123

You deserved it 5 251

By Prinpette - 20/09/2011 21:20 - France

Spicy

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 352

You deserved it 40 479

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 391

You deserved it 5 766

Found it

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 20:01

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 814

You deserved it 437

By halloweed - 16/11/2011 05:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 422

You deserved it 7 603

Beauty standards

By Anonymous - 08/05/2023 03:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 527

Next

Top comments

cmfh88 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 19:46

pubes? gross...

SuperWasian 0

Monday 4 April 2011 0:03

Love how most people on here are disgusted with pubic hair. Not everyone likes to shave everything off. And jeez, it's natural. Calm down. And guys need to stop expecting every girl to shave everything. Keep watching your **** if you wanna see completely hairless girls.

Comments

saltycookies 5

Sunday 3 April 2011 20:30

be nice people she's European

Death_From_Above 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 20:35

Yup.. You put it in perfect terms.

roe010992 10

Sunday 3 April 2011 20:39

What's wrong with you? Even my boyfriend shaves. You're giving us British girls a bad name.

maluvsya 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 20:40

It's only Germans that "don't shave" not all off us!! And anyway why shave it all off a lil strip don't hurt better then looking like a 8yr old girl!!! If she wants to ve hair let her it's het choice!!

cul8r 4

Sunday 3 April 2011 23:16

Only Germans don't shave? Are you crazy? What does the nationality have to do with anything?

RUSH777 0

Monday 4 April 2011 5:50

Are you f*cking kidding me? I'm from Germany. And as far as I'm concerned, that has NEVER been a German stereotype.

T3P33_fml 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 19:02

german that don't shave? wait wuuuut? I know the joke "portuguese people are hairy" joke but nothing on germans for that O.o

eltunas 5

Friday 21 October 2011 3:04

Yeah! A better stereotype would be they have hitler mustache-shaped pubes

t52280 2

Monday 5 November 2012 23:52

Hahahaha hahahaha

lmaoatall 6

Sunday 3 April 2011 20:44

should have peed on him right then and there and said, oh I think the windsheild washer fluid level is low, if you had just kept proper maintenance on the car, this would have never happened!!!

heathersmorin 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 20:55

lmao!!

natybear5 2

Monday 4 April 2011 5:17

lmaooooo agreed

defQ 0

Monday 4 April 2011 8:26

Hopefully he wore a condom. Sometimes when the racetrack gets "hairy", the cars start to burn some serious rubber!

Oniat 2

Sunday 3 April 2011 20:50

Ahahaha your man has a sense of humor, chill out. If my bf did that to me I'd crack up.

agummere796 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 20:50

that's not a FML, it's a TMI!!

kgbriggs 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 23:42

amen!!

PhilMcHawk 7

Sunday 3 April 2011 20:53

Ew gross! What are you, some kind of sick werewolf freak?!

theaws0m3guy 4

Monday 4 April 2011 5:33

Smosh win ^^ :)

PaulTalley 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 20:55

maybe you shouldve shaved your pubes... pubes on girls is grody.

DontBeACreeper 0

Monday 4 April 2011 0:22

grody bitches. smh.

agirlnamedlogan 5

Sunday 3 April 2011 20:56

YDI, shave or trim

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Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Cute Miscellaneous Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Intimacy Sex Management Poopoo peepee Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 972

You deserved it 2 303

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 981

You deserved it 10 418

The Top

Today, I got called an "evil Nazi bitch" because I let a customer know that this is the last day our store will have free plastic bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 848

You deserved it 3 498

Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was watching the episode where Spongebob smashes his guitar while playing. I walk into the kitchen to make him a snack, and I hear a loud crash... My nephew smashing my brand new guitar to be like Spongebob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 905

You deserved it 4 512

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 896

You deserved it 13 695

Today, I've now had to fire three employees this month alone. Why? Two were caught making TikToks while on the clock, “joking” about stealing customers’ credit card info, and the third posted a video of herself in a street fight while wearing her uniform. It should hurt to be this damn stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 121

Today, I went to move a load of laundry out of the washer and into the dryer, but the clothes were already in the dryer. Normally, I would be happy about this. However, I am currently living alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 643

You deserved it 2 036

Today, my sexist, misogynistic boss showed me a new program we all have to use. After several minutes of him explaining it badly and belittling me for doing it wrong, I opened a sub-folder that showed that I CREATED THE PROGRAM. He walked away, then later wrote me up for "having a bad attitude." FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 125