Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting'... - FML

By dahs - 03/04/2011 11:27 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 608

You deserved it 15 234

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Same thing different taste

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 892

You deserved it 37 459

By Anonymous - 17/10/2010 05:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 969

You deserved it 8 827

By Sugao - 10/12/2008 07:48 - France

Spicy

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 077

You deserved it 7 636

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 445

You deserved it 6 707

Groucho

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 123

You deserved it 5 251

By Prinpette - 20/09/2011 21:20 - France

Spicy

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 352

You deserved it 40 479

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 391

You deserved it 5 766

Found it

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 20:01

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 814

You deserved it 437

By halloweed - 16/11/2011 05:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 422

You deserved it 7 603

Beauty standards

By Anonymous - 08/05/2023 03:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 527

Next

Top comments

cmfh88 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 19:46

pubes? gross...

SuperWasian 0

Monday 4 April 2011 0:03

Love how most people on here are disgusted with pubic hair. Not everyone likes to shave everything off. And jeez, it's natural. Calm down. And guys need to stop expecting every girl to shave everything. Keep watching your **** if you wanna see completely hairless girls.

Comments

punkrulz 1

Monday 4 April 2011 5:28

196 - Really? I'm circumcised, I wear pants every day, and I don't have pain down there. Sounds to me like you got a serious problem going on lol.

Shimmykitties 0

Monday 4 April 2011 5:32

Oh my god...I'm getting hot just thinking about that

pappuyaer 0

Monday 4 April 2011 5:36

u know u r really hot ?

kyleb29 0

Monday 4 April 2011 5:49

shave ydi

jellybeans4833 7

Monday 4 April 2011 5:53

pubes = natural no pubes = not natural unless you're a pubescent 5 year old girl.

NavyAvi 0

Monday 4 April 2011 6:11

ydi. shave.

ProhibitionRose 14

Monday 4 April 2011 6:11

maybe he's subtly suggesting you shave. soooo gross

freddyisepic 2

Monday 4 April 2011 6:20

three fmls about hair in a row

happyfeet124 0

Monday 4 April 2011 6:22

Hahahahahahaha lovely ! :D

pitafrench97 0

Monday 4 April 2011 6:28

that's what you get for not getting a bikini wax

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The Top

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

Today, I realized I’ve been saying “a whole nother” instead of “a whole other” my entire life. It wasn’t until my friend pointed it out with a smirk I’ve been speaking in an alternate universe. He was also the one to point out last year that my use of "like" every three words was "annoying and cringe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 424

The Top

Today, I tried impressing my colleagues by using fancy business jargon during a meeting. I ended up saying, "Let's synergize our ideation to maximize the bandwidth of our paradigm shift." Nobody had a clue what I meant, and me neither to be honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 1 281

Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 480

You deserved it 8 231

Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the whole time and never responded, except for a few times to say "Ouch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 204

You deserved it 10 351

Today, my wife has a drinking problem. She's stopped drinking liquor but still drinks beer, and even though I work and make great money, we are always scraping by. I’m at the point of leaving but we have an almost three year-old and one year-old and I feel like I’m going to get screwed in divorce court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 95

Today, someone punched me in the back of the head, so I swung round and broke their nose. It was some woman screaming at me for wearing headphones and ignoring her. She then pulled a hidden disability badge out her pocket so everyone thought I was beating up a disabled person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 498

You deserved it 272

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 844

You deserved it 3 092