Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in...

By FYouBoyfriend - 30/08/2010 17:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 678

You deserved it 16 219

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Same thing different taste

Legit logic

By Carmen VanDiest - 24/04/2020 02:00

Today, I asked my husband why his socks are always inside-out in the laundry basket. He replied, "So the insides get clean." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 540

By jodibut - 06/02/2012 16:18 - United States

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 764

You deserved it 8 060

Get the message

By thelandofoz - 14/10/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, I noticed that my clothes had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said, "I know how they work. I shrank your clothes to give you some incentive to lose all that belly you got." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 895

You deserved it 7 672

Not so normal, no

By grossedoutgirlfriend - 04/10/2019 14:00

Today, I came home from work to see a pair of panties I hadn't worn lying on the floor. I picked them up and they were all crunchy. It turns out that while I'm away, my boyfriend uses my underwear as a vessel for his semen. He claims this is normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 370

By beep_guacamole - 24/05/2009 21:49 - United States

Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 338

You deserved it 4 628

By CD. - 11/01/2010 00:24 - United States

Today, my mom explained the benefits of douching to me with my boyfriend right there. He began arguing with her about how the vagina is usually self-cleaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 108

You deserved it 2 615

Smooth move

By nicole - 27/05/2011 20:52 - United States

Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 348

You deserved it 78 701

By LaundryVictim - 15/06/2016 20:50

Today, I picked up my laundry from the wash-and-fold and proceeded to put everything away. I noticed a hand towel that wasn't mine and made a mental note to return it; turned out they'd given me someone else's boxers as well. My boyfriend doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 585

You deserved it 1 142

By Diet_Water - 14/02/2016 05:01 - United States - Moreno Valley

Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 903

You deserved it 4 712

Getting ready

By Anonymous - 06/06/2022 09:00 - United States

Today, I found several thongs in the dryer that my wife has never worn before, purchased just days before she is going on vacation with her girlfriends. Serves me right for folding the laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 239

MimE_fml 0

Monday 30 August 2010 23:07

lmfao, nice

mfmylifesrsly 29

Monday 30 August 2010 23:16

tell him your ****** is tight his penis is just too small. :)

Comments

_Jonah_ 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 3:36

Sense of humour...your bf has one.

queenjr 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 4:13

wow!!!!! lol

ravenxcorvinus 9

Wednesday 1 September 2010 6:39

lol! OUCH total burn

milo2113 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 7:21

hhhhaaaaahahahahahaha

Kanvis78 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 8:19

YDI for having pre-marital sex! now he'll never marry your looseness! :(

angel55033 12

Wednesday 1 September 2010 9:49

stop putting out easy enough & if you like sex or to play with yourself than you're a lost cause lol

FmyLinNY 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 18:05

Your boyfriend's a champ!

ItAllBurnZ 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 4:39

ROFL!!!!!!!!! Your BF is funny... But seriously, why isn't your username FMyEx? ;)

Pickled_Anon 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 5:27

Just to clear things up, a ****** can't get loose. Unless you did some horrible, gruesome things to it that'd probably require surgery.

nismo_r2 5

Thursday 2 September 2010 11:07

omfg!!!!!!!! this is hands down top 5 of FML best!!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

Today, my brother and sister-in-law come over ONLY to use up the resources at our house - like food, TV subscriptions, and other items. They claim to love my kids and come over for them. If only they would look up from their phone and spend actual time with the kids. Is there a way to block toxic relatives? FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 108

The Top

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 045

You deserved it 5 369

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 965

You deserved it 4 235

Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 673

You deserved it 3 488

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 486

You deserved it 28 088

Today, I had my first ice skating lesson. I had to wait 5 years for a rink to open in my town, 2 weeks for my lessons to begin, but only 10 minutes to fall and hit my tailbone so hard that I can't walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 328

You deserved it 4 214

Today, my dad and his buddies were hanging out. One of them said to my dad, "Hey! I've heard your son wants to be a doctor! He he he! You better start saving up!" My dad then triumphantly responded, "PAH!!! No problem there. He's an idiot! He probably won't make it to premed!" And yes, he was sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 102