Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis...

By bathtime - 21/12/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 941

You deserved it 4 210

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Same thing different taste

It's a witch!

By umm... - 30/03/2020 23:00 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 824

You deserved it 348

By Anonymous - 31/12/2010 06:21

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 332

You deserved it 5 645

By quirrus - 07/05/2012 09:42 - United States

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 095

You deserved it 9 833

By Pissy - 23/05/2019 06:05

Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 232

Wet noodle

By Anonymous - 01/08/2021 14:01

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 582

You deserved it 108

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 05:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 314

You deserved it 15 556

By dickofbrokendreams - 02/03/2015 05:14 - United States - Waynesville

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 023

You deserved it 3 479

By journey_Jeanne - 08/12/2011 02:31 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 038

You deserved it 5 159

Who are these people ?

By ShelbyIsAwesome - 04/03/2021 17:01

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 137

By Shelby - 14/08/2019 02:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 231

MsSoulReaper 27

Wednesday 21 December 2011 8:41

If I had a penis I would so try that.

n_epic_fail 14

Wednesday 21 December 2011 9:12

No you're just an airhead

Comments

aFreedom127 9

Wednesday 21 December 2011 11:20

I got nothing.

JadeWalker 14

Wednesday 21 December 2011 19:35

thats a first.

brock329 3

Wednesday 21 December 2011 20:29

Finally lmao

JhunnySuperman 0

Friday 30 December 2011 4:47

Your blonde nobody expects you to have an idea

perdix 29

Wednesday 21 December 2011 11:25

It's a witch! Burn it!

bekaashley 17

Wednesday 21 December 2011 11:36

Wow what an idiot!

alsgirl 24

Wednesday 21 December 2011 11:37

It's a DUCK!

googlewtf 0

Wednesday 21 December 2011 12:50

PFD personal floatation device pull incase of an emergency

UsEumYong 4

Wednesday 21 December 2011 12:50

CAPTAIN!! ICEBERG AHEAD!!!

rockinsexychick 5

Wednesday 21 December 2011 13:28

Just think now you don't have to buy anymore rubber duckies :D

JhunnySuperman 0

Friday 30 December 2011 4:49

Am I the only one without a rubber ducky wtf!!!!

elenarox 1

Wednesday 21 December 2011 14:45

81, ahahah u just made my day :D

RevSen 3

Wednesday 21 December 2011 14:47

You realize this means his penis is a witch.

graham11 14

Wednesday 21 December 2011 15:14

4- no its called buoyancy. I guarantee if you jumped into a pool, you could float. It doesn't really matter if a person is fat or not..

Keywords

Miscellaneous Weddings Awkward Love My ex Friends AITA Jealousy Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Relatable Mental health Therapy Covid Argument Parenting Kids Thanksgiving Ironic Medication Cute Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Work

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I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 653

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 220

You deserved it 5 961

The Top

Today, I went on a plane and was sitting next to a mom with her 12-year-oldish daughter. Apparently, they decided to have "The talk." On the plane, right next to me. I heard everything, and actually learned new things. I'm 35. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 327

You deserved it 6 682

Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 809

You deserved it 3 291

Today, I passed a car, and heard a baby crying in the back seat. It was hot and no one was around. All the doors were locked so I broke it with a rock, cutting my arm and setting the alarm off. Only to find out that it was a realistic baby doll. I have to get 7 stitches and pay for the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 300

You deserved it 9 441

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 261

You deserved it 4 559

Today, I heard my dad complaining that he won't be able to go to a concert, because it's happening on my birthday. This is the first time he's even acknowledged my birthday in over ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 778

You deserved it 3 317

Today, I was fired when a customer called corporate, saying I was unprofessional and rude. The "customer" in question was my little sister, who I would not let buy beer with a fake ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 341

You deserved it 3 086

Same thing different taste

It's a witch!

Wet noodle

Who are these people ?

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