Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis...

By bathtime - 21/12/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 941

You deserved it 4 210

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Same thing different taste

It's a witch!

By umm... - 30/03/2020 23:00 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 824

You deserved it 348

By Anonymous - 31/12/2010 06:21

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 332

You deserved it 5 645

By quirrus - 07/05/2012 09:42 - United States

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 095

You deserved it 9 833

By Pissy - 23/05/2019 06:05

Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 232

Wet noodle

By Anonymous - 01/08/2021 14:01

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 582

You deserved it 108

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 05:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 314

You deserved it 15 556

By dickofbrokendreams - 02/03/2015 05:14 - United States - Waynesville

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 023

You deserved it 3 479

By journey_Jeanne - 08/12/2011 02:31 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 038

You deserved it 5 159

Who are these people ?

By ShelbyIsAwesome - 04/03/2021 17:01

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 137

By Shelby - 14/08/2019 02:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 231

MsSoulReaper 27

Wednesday 21 December 2011 8:41

If I had a penis I would so try that.

n_epic_fail 14

Wednesday 21 December 2011 9:12

No you're just an airhead

Comments

stephanie911_fml 0

Wednesday 21 December 2011 9:38

Oh god, I wouldn't doubt if OP's from my city in Kentucky.

Kueezy 6

Wednesday 21 December 2011 9:42

Inflatable dick?

JustAGuy18 0

Wednesday 21 December 2011 9:43

Didn't know you could do that....... Meh. New idea of sex position... Mm..

FollowMe 2

Wednesday 21 December 2011 9:51

My penis doesn't float during bathtime! (Your name) xD

CallMeHush 0

Wednesday 21 December 2011 10:21

At least he didn't fart then bite the bubbles.

katydid91 31

Thursday 22 December 2011 4:09

The term you're looking for is "Snarker"

monkeybanana 7

Wednesday 21 December 2011 10:27

Haha win ^^

maxwells_hammer 5

Wednesday 21 December 2011 10:36

It wouldn't just sink. It would just be submerged under water like the rest of your body when you take a bath. Hard-ons or not penis are not rocks.

sierrataz 3

Wednesday 21 December 2011 10:46

He's how old and just learning that now? Honestly just how stupid is he?

Jonniii 10

Wednesday 21 December 2011 10:52

Buy him penis weights for Xmas.

kareltje 17

Wednesday 21 December 2011 11:20

So your boyfriend's got TWO airheads? Damn! FYL, OP!

Keywords

Awkward Weddings Miscellaneous My ex Love Jealousy Friends AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Relatable Therapy Mental health Thanksgiving Parenting Kids Argument Covid Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money

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Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML

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You deserved it 19 251

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You deserved it 1 186

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I agree, your life sucks 30 246

You deserved it 2 960

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I agree, your life sucks 29 698

You deserved it 2 812

Today, I asked my son what his goals in life are. He said he doesn’t have any career goals, and the only thing he wants out of life is to play Dungeons and Dragons. I have failed as a parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 696

Today, I showed my father a nice sweatshirt online, hoping he would take the hint and get it for me. He did, three sizes larger than mine, for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 320

You deserved it 8 444

Same thing different taste

It's a witch!

Wet noodle

Who are these people ?

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